Tired of waiting around to see if windbreakers will come back in style? FM’s team of sartorial savants took a look into their crystal ball to bring you the future of culture. This is what they saw:
After its temporary banishment to the cultural underground, the emo movement will regroup and colonize the genre of dubstep. “Droopstep,” as this hideous progeny will be known, will spread among hopeless teens like wildfire because it sets the perfect pace for loitering while allowing for long periods of nasal lament in between cathartic wobble breaks. Its sound will baffle parents, who could never understand tragedy anyway.
The iPhone 6 will be released, with the much-ridiculed Siri finally willing to accept marriage proposals. Everyone will have one; Mormons will have three.After rising tensions culminate in a psychotic-groupie-and-electric-razor incident, the dreamy boy band One Direction will finally split. One will join the cast of “Glee,” another will appear nude on the cover of Food Network Magazine, and a third will serve 20 years for armed robbery and for swearing on the set of “Barney.” The other two will release a post-droopstep concept album entitled “down/all/night,” before they all join together once more for their Many Directions reunion tour.
When leggings are formally decreed to not be pants, social norms will take a dramatic shift away from pants. Thus, leggings will become the go-to accessory for everything, including scarves, shrugs to hats, capes, and leashes for your toy St. Bernard.
“Going I.V.” will replace the vegan craze, and veganism itself will be derided as “bougie” and “gluttonous.” Followers will move to avoid all solid foods, instead opting to use a small intravenous pump attached to the ear.
Berry to Bring Chefs to HousesStudents will be treated to a smorgasbord of culinary delights this spring when eminent chefs from Boston-area restaurants visit college
Notice.CHESS CLUB.- Will J. C. Davis, W. L. Mowell, E. B. Hilliard, A. Michelson, and E. H. Moeller be at
No HeadlineNatural History, also Math. and Chemistry. - Mr. C. A. Pitkin, '73, will give private instruction. Address, Gray, 4. May
New Health Service Pharmacy May Ease Drug-Price BurdenThe University Health Services is formulating plans for a new pharmacy of its own to combat the overpricing of prescription
Senior Class Notice.The responsibility for successfully maintaining, preserving and strengthening the class organization and unity rests with each member of the class.
Cricket with Lynn Today.The University cricket team will play the Lynn Wanderers at 2 o'clock this afternoon on the grounds of the Lynn