Venn Diagram: The Ivy League and Blue Ivy Carter

A child’s future destiny/The Future of Destiny’s Child
By Noah B. Pisner

The Ivy League

The ancient home of fierce, young intellectuals

Not religiously affiliated

Big endowments

Not in Paris

D.O.A.: Don’t Offer Admission

Frequently visited by Cornel West

A child’s future destiny

Don’t have shoulders

Blue Ivy Carter

The divine offspring of Sasha Fierce & Young Hova

Most likely the next messiah

Will have big endowments

In Paris

D.O.A.: Descendant Of Awesomeness

Frequently visited by Kanye West

The Future of Destiny’s Child

Keeps shoulders dirt-free

Both

Conceived in the coming together of geniuses

Get nutrition from mushy, overcooked vegetables

Recently promoted sensitivity towards women

Will enjoy lifelong praise and admiration

Associated with the Illuminati

Characterized by unrealistic expectations

Have trademarked namesNamed after colors

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