Curious to see what students decided to leave on campus, and hoping to find some gifts for the family—father’s day is coming up—I channeled my inner raccoon and dug through the Habitat for Humanity donation bins set up in the Yard. After two hours of digging and losing all of my dignity, I discovered that there were some pretty questionable items—and students—in the freshman class. Here's a recap of some of the notable items I found:
-One green and yellow mattress pad; the original color is still a mystery.
-Two boxes of Girl Scout cookies—unfortunately, Samoas. I don’t like coconuts, so I left them.
-One medium sweater from Banana Republic. I did take this. [Author's Note: I would like to justify my stealing from a non-profit by the fact that I have low blood pressure and get cold really easily.]
-One Mac iBook G4.
-One set of shoehorns.
-Three copies of "Out" magazine. I had a short panic attack after seeing my celebrity crush, Ewan McGregor, on the cover, but it was a false alarm, and our wedding is back on.
-A GE microwave, perhaps one of the first.
-A great selection of diet books, including "The Biggest Loser" and "How the Rich Get Thin."
-About two-dozen hangers. Obviously, someone had already been through this bin and taken the good stuff.
-One Halloween cookie tin.
-One large North Face jacket (unfortunately not my size, or my father's).
-Four books on Law: Clearly, reading about wills, trusts and estates, and game theory doesn’t make for great summer reading.
-A gently-used V-neck shirt from Banana Republic. (Is this the only store the freshman class shops at?)
-One long wooden pole (use unknown).
-A cone with the following text: "Falling Ice: Caution."
-A one-armed desk chair.
-Four dining hall trays.
-One cane (the jackpot!).
-A mirror, which I used to check whether my new sweater looked good.
-One blanket. Surprisingly not from Banana Republic.
In the end, I emerged from the cardboard with a new wardrobe, and haunted by the question, "What was the pole for?"