This Is What Talking to Your Advisor Is Like
FRESHMAN YEAR
Advisor: So, what are you thinking about concentrating in?
Student: I don’t even know what that word means.
Advisor: It’s like a major but you can only choose Economics or something intellectual-sounding with a secondary in Economics.
Student: Well, should I also be thinking about Gen Ed requirements?
Advisor: I don’t know. I’m a swim coach.
Student: You must know something about Harvard.
Advisor: I coach at BU.
SOPHOMORE YEAR
Advisor: Welcome back! How are you liking the Quad?
Student: I feel empty inside.
Advisor: Cool! So what concentrations are you thinking about!?
Student: Economics or English, but, to be honest, after the death of my au-
Advisor: Great options! If you choose Economics, you’ll probably end up working in consulting. If you choose English, you’ll also work in consulting, but with a firmer grasp of James Joyce.