Why Harvard is Better than Yale: A Quick Guide

Nothing gets Yalies down.
Courtesy of YouTube

Nothing gets Yalies down.

As we approach Thanksgiving and Harvard’s inevitable seventh consecutive win against Yale in the Harvard-Yale football game, it seems like a good time to reflect upon a few other reasons why we’re grateful not to have to spend four years in New Haven.

Bravery
We’ll admit, it takes a lot of guts to sign your soul away to Yale for four years. However, that doesn’t mean you should go and make a video about it. Some Yale students recently choreographed and lip-synced to to Sara Bareilles’ “Brave”. "Oh, how creative!" you may be thinking, but in reality the video is just a hard-to-watch display of misery and flailing around—exactly what one would expect, really. Check out Harvard’s recent admissions video to see the result of competent video editing and students who don’t secretly despise their school.

Location
Greeting those drive along the I-95 to reach our New Haven friends there is a sign that reads "Yale University: Exit 3". We can't be sure, but we think we saw the faintest of Sharpie marks scratched underneath that read "Please help us. Please."

Clean Laundry
We could go on to enumerate the span of what makes Harvard better than Yale, but we’ll conclude with this: whenever we move our laundry from the washer to the dryer, we cherish the knowledge that, at Harvard, we have no reason to fear for the hygienic sanctity of our clothing. No feces—just the fresh scent of Downy and warm pairs of jeans.

Go Harvard. Beat Yale. Enough said.

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