Parents Weekends Throughout History

1819: Outside the Gates

Mrs. Emerson: Oh son, I’ve missed you so! Have you decided? Law or Pre-Med?

Ralph Waldo: Mother, I’ve decided to be a poet!

Mrs. Emerson faints. Mr. Emerson glares at Ralph before carrying her back to their carriage.

1835: Hollis Hall

Henry David: I do detest the layout of this dormitory! All my friends are in suites, but I have to share one double with my roommate! He’s a slob, and he snores, and leaves the outhouse smelling terribly!

Mr. Thoreau: Son, think of this as a chance to learn to live deliberately. How many rooms does a man need, anyway?

Henry David: Live deliberately? That’s the stupidest thing you’ve said yet, father. What ever does it even mean?

1878: Inside the Bike Room Of the Porcellian Club

Mrs. Roosevelt: I don’t understand, Teddy. I’m your own mother. Why can’t I come inside?

Teddy: You are inside, Mother. You should feel lucky to enter this far into the building. Do you want a sandwich?

Mrs. Roosevelt: But I don’t understand. Why must this Porcelain Club be so secretive?

Teddy: It’s the Por-CEL-lian Club, mom. Not the Porcelain Club. It’s exclusive, and therefore, it leads to a better world.

Mrs. Roosevelt rolls her eyes at her son.

1902: Inside adams house

Mrs. Delano: Franklin, why are you so frightened all the time?

Franklin: The only thing I have to fear is Ec10 itself! Last’s week’s midterm is the day that will live in infamy.

Mrs. Delano: You never were very fond of capitalism.

1906: In the Library

Mrs. Widener: I dare say, the collection of books here seems to be rather lacking. When I think of the volumes you have at home, Harry....

Harry: I love books, mother. This place has far too few of them. When I graduate, I shall travel the world in search of books. To Europe! Not a single publication shall escape me.

Mr. Widener: Well, with the way they’re building ships these days, anything is possible!

1909: Outside The Advocate

Mr. Cummings: Son, I just don’t understand. How could you get a failing grade on your essay? You’re such an excellent writer!

e.e.: something. about, the Grammar. they Said.

1939: Inside Widener

(John is kissing a girl in the library)

John: It’s a good thing Papa Kennedy couldn’t make it today. Thank goodness he was called to D.C. (Lowers his voice). Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here with you.

Girl #573: Ooh, Jack, you’re so dreamy!

John: Come on, there’s something I want to show you in the stacks….

1968: Dunster Dining Hall

Mr. Gore: Congratulations on winning the UC election, m’boy!

Al: Well, Dad, actually, the Ad Board is still deciding on the results....

1975: In Seattle

Mrs. Gates: Well, just think. We could have been in Boston right now, meeting all the other respectable parents.

Mr. Gates: I just don’t understand how we raised a college dropout. He always seemed so intelligent!