Dear Ted Mosby,
During the past nine seasons of "How I Met Your Mother", we have both been on one roller coaster of a ride. You struggled in New York to find the love of your life, and I struggled with awkward middle school relationships. You decided to take a job at Goliath National Bank to pay your bills, and I decided to wash windows during the summer to pay for car insurance. You and Barney made laser-tag in suits look so cool that my best friend and I came super close to actually laser-tagging in suits—before deciding that wearing them to school was good enough.
And I even identified with you, you were a nice normal guy with black curly hair, and a bit too much introspection. I was rooting for you—I knew the mother was just around corner!
But then season 7 came, then season 8, and my patience started to fade. What seemed endearingly idealistic and romantic at first, over time turned into annoyance. Everybody around you was living the dream, while you persisted in being classic Ted.
So by the time season 9 rolled along, I was happy to see you find happiness and ready to move on. And everything seemed set to go that way—Barney and Robin get happily married, and you meet the beautiful perfect lady you’ve been looking for.
But not so fast.. In the last episode (spoiler alert), you just had to ruin everything! Or the writers did. Either way it makes no sense! Why do you spend nine years waiting for this perfect woman, then wait like seven years before getting married, and then have her die of cancer a mere 10 years later? If Robin and Barney are such a great couple for season 8 and 9, then how come it only takes them three years to get divorced and completely fall out of each other's lives? And to top it all off, there’s the very fact that the show ends with you and old Auntie Robin getting back together after all. And why does this all take place in the span of 10 minutes? I’ll take this as an admission that you really should have just ended the show during the sixth season.
Now don’t take this the wrong way—there are many things I love about HIMYM. Of course, there’s the storyline and the characters. And who could forget all the high fives, the suits, the bro-code and playbook, “haaave you met Ted,” and all the dumb jokes like how you and Robin always salute whenever someone says “General Knowledge” or “Private Information.”
But at the end of the day, I feel confused and unsatisfied. Like a legen-wait for it, wait for it, wait for it.
Come on, Teddy Westside.