From the House that brought us, objectively, this year’s best housing day video and a mildly-disturbing, annual celebration of house spirit called IncestFest, Kirkland House has outdone itself, yet again, in promoting its revered image by bringing a whole new meaning to the term incest.
For the Kirkland House formal, held later today at the Boston Aquarium, Katherine Buellesbach ‘16 and Sophia Randolph ‘16 created K-Harmony, a Kirkland spin-off of Datamatch, a survey that will give shy, incestuous Kirklanders the ability to find a date in-house.
Many questions are raised by K-Harmony. In our ruthless pursuit of the truth, Flyby posed the following questions to Kate and Sophia, each the other’s second choice in their K-Harmony matches.
Flyby: Why did you create K-Harmony?
Kate: I think that anything that helps House spirit is always welcome. And, anything that encourages people to meet new people in the House, we would really want to encourage that.
Flyby: How many marriages do you expect to come out of this?
Sophia: In the preliminary run of this, Kate and I were each other’s number two matches, so there’s the potential for at least one marriage.
Kate: Yeah, I think so. I am going to conservatively say 50%.
Sophia: I would like to shout out that the results are gender neutral and that this whole thing is geared at making best friends, soul mates, future roommates, life partners, co-pet owners.
Flyby: Do you feel that this service for Kirkland House discriminates against people in Eliot and Winthrop, houses that are in Kirkland’s sphere?
Sophia: We are encouraging people to attend formal who don’t live in Kirkland to even fill it out. But, a couple of the questions, admittedly, do poke a little fun at our neighbors.
Flyby: Kirkland has an incestuous reputation already; does K-Harmony further that reputation?
Kate: Well, we do all live with each other.
1. Incest is a way of life in Kirkland House:
All residents of Kirkland want is to eat meals with each other, go to formal with each other, and get married to each other. Disgusting.
2. Kirklanders are elitist:
Members of Eliot and Winthrop are encouraged to take a quiz that makes fun of their houses. Fascism.