New Classes

1. Ancient Near East 136: ‘Sibling Rivalries: Israel and the Other in the Hebrew Bible’

You had so much fun last year coasting through Hebrew Bible that Harvard thought they’d help you out with that religion concentration you’re totally working on and offer up a sequel. Segues nicely into another new course, “Religion 1400: Introduction to the New Testament.”

2. Visual and Environmental Studies 179f: ‘Furious Cinema: 1968-1979’

An overcompensating followup to last year’s “shockingly under-enrolled” course “Milquetoast Cinema: 1968-1979.”

3. Philosophy 150: ‘The Philosophy of Probability’

This fine offering explore the big questions: How should I choose among my options? What should I believe? Does it make sense to believe in God? In President Faust? How long can I procrastinate on this essay and still get inflated to an A-? How many times this week can I get Kong before my friends judge me? If I pay tuition but never register do I just...live here for a semester?

4. Expos 20.283: ‘Surviellance: Leganand Ethical Issues’

Real talk prof, can the government see my dick pics?

5. Anthropology 1185: ‘The Talking Dead: Archeology of Death, Burials, and Commemoration’

57% of disappointed admissions looking to get in on the ground floor of “The Walking Dead” sequel.

6. SCAND 50: ‘Becoming Scandinavian’

If you see the Canada Geese replaced with horned helmets you’ll know who to blame.

7. English 195m: ‘Money’

If this class isn’t Harvard clickbait, I don’t know what is.

8. Religion 1444: ‘God and Money’

Religion Department, don’t think I don’t see you piggybacking on English. This class exists to discourage the idea that Religion is not a lucrative major — They say the meek shall inherit, amirite?