The blog of The Harvard Crimson

Dude, That’s Rude: Prefrosh

It’s that time of year again—Visitas. It's impossible to miss, with the aggressive emails asking current students to host and the swarms of prefrosh in nametags around campus. A note to the upperclassmen: we all remember the awkward struggle that was Visitas, so cut these prefrosh a little slack—Harvard can be a scary place.

And to the prefrosh: there are a few things that just don’t fly with us, and we’d rather you know what not to do. Watch out for these Visitas mishaps and you should have a relatively pain-free revisit experience.

Travelling in Packs So Large That No One Can Pass

We see you coming from a mile away with your bright red drawstrings, lanyards, and slightly terrified smiles. If you see us coming—look out for jaded, hung-over people rushing to the library—please form a single file line to pass. The paths in the Yard are wide enough for both of us if you don’t travel in six-person-wide lines.

Crowding the Dining Halls

It will be literally impossible for freshmen to go to Annenberg this weekend without waiting a half an hour for food. We get it, being a prefrosh is hungry work and learning the ins and outs of the Berg's social life is a key skill. But please, don’t stroll around checking out the food options for ten minutes; there’s nothing that great, we promise.

Getting Too Drunk/Rowdy at Your First College Party

We’ve all experienced the excitement that comes from your first college party. Your parents aren’t around (we hope—see next point), the world of alcohol is new and exciting, and it’s time to prove to yourself that you will be more fun in college than you were in high school. But we beg you: don’t overdo it on the alcohol, or the fun for that matter. There are plenty more opportunities in your future for bad decision-making.

Judgmental Prefrosh Parents

There’s nothing worse than taking out the trash—we’re talking over 100 beer cans—from the night before and seeing prefrosh parents staring at you in judgment. We understand the judgmental looks: You are afraid to let your star student go into the world of PBR. But please cut us some slack, we promise that we have our life together. Also, don’t sit down next to us in Berg when we’re trying to work and start grilling us about the academic rigor of Harvard. Take our word for it when we say that this is a hard place.

Keep these few tips in mind and we can safely say that you won’t make any upperclassmen enemies before you arrive in fall. But if you pull any of these moves, don’t be surprised if we say: dude, that’s rude.

Tiësto’s Top Hits

So we finally know who the Yardfest artist is, after a pretty agonizing wait. We’ve all heard complaints about the announcement. You say you’ve never heard of him? Think again—we’ve compiled a list of Tiësto’s most famous songs, and we can guarantee that you’ve heard some of them. And if you haven’t, it’s time to get listening so that you can gear up for one of the best days of the semester.

Wasted

Let’s face it, we like almost everything better when we’re wasted (including Yardfest). You’ve heard this jam too many times on the radio, it was played long past its used-by date, and it’s about to make a comeback. Expect a lot of excitement when Tiësto gets to this track.

Red Lights

This is the song that you’ve heard at plenty of parties but you probably never knew what it was called or who it was by. Well, this is a Tiësto signature, so now you can’t forget it. On a serious note, we hope that Tiësto drives safely on the way to Harvard and does not, in fact, run those red lights.

All of Me (Remix)

We know that you know Tiësto’s remix of the John Legend classic. It’s just the right mixture of emotional ballad and upbeat dance music. It’ll get stuck in your head all day, so don’t be surprised if your foot starts tapping during lecture.

The Only Way Is Up

Maybe the rumors about Martin Garrix for Yardfest were onto something, since this song marks the creative union of Tiësto and Garrix. It is a classic EDM number, with words that cannot be fully made out and some quality beat drops.

Secrets

Tiësto put together this track in collaboration with KSHMR and Vassy (Will they make surprise appearances at Yardfest? We sense a new rumor in the making here.) We know that Tiësto knows a little something about keeping secrets, though, from how long we had to wait to find out that he’d be the artist.

If you aren’t listening to these songs on repeat between now and Yardfest, you should really reassess your priorities. Tiësto definitely has some gems and we’re excited to hear them in our own backYard.

How to Hypothetically Celebrate Boston's First Legal 4/20

Hey, man. Not to be blunt, but you should probably know by now that Massachusetts decided to puff, puff, pass the legislation that makes recreational marijuana legal for the 21+ crowd. Let’s be honest, we all knew California was going to legalize that green goodness, but Massachusetts? Pretty sure not too many people had high hopes. However, our trusty ol’ Commonwealth decided to light one up for all the cannabis crusaders and approve this dope law. In honor of the first 4/20 in post-legalization Massachusetts, we’ve grinded out the details of what would be the dankest spots to hit up today if we lived in a world where Harvard—and the federal government—let smoking on campus fly.

The River - A favorite of campus potheads, the river provides the ideal outdoor vibes for all your smoking needs. Not recommended January through March, when gloves and a pre-rolled joint are necessary, but ideal for late April.

Cabot Rooftop - For all you quadlings who are partial to chronic, Cabot rooftop gives you both privacy and a sick view. Day or night, this high-up spot is a great place to get high. Other roofs for reefin’ include the Carpenter Center and the Science Center.

Fogg Museum Steps - It’s literally called the Fogg, guys. This spot is a favorite of the seasoned smoker, and definitely a good one for a chillier night. Head down the staircase that leads to the basement of the museum and light up under the shelter provided by questionably clean concrete walls. Flashlight optional.

Cambridge Commons - Meeting up with a smoke squad of both quadlings and river homies? This spot is the perfect compromise. For the spookier crowd, there’s always the cemetery across the way. Just make sure you don’t confuse smoke clouds for ghosts.

Lowell Community Garden - Grass belongs in a garden, so what better place to light up than our very own community garden? For all the blazers who frequent the esteemed establishments of Mt. Auburn Street on the weekends, take a break from dancing on tabletops to consume some grade-A kush.

Your Room - For the lazy blazers. But hey, those fire escapes are pretty rad.

We’re definitely not saying you should make a trip to these locations today. That would be wrong. But maybe these spots will convince Snoop to play at Yardfest next time around.

Editor’s Note: Smoking in public spaces is still illegal under Massachusetts legislation. Read more about the nuances of Massachusetts’s marijuana laws here, and about Harvard’s drug and alcohol policies here, which prohibit smoking on campus.

In Memoriam: Yardfest Artists That Never Were

Yardfest Artists (Sike!)
The cover of our "Yardfest Artists That Never Were" playlist.
Finally, finally, the CEB has decided to let us know that Tiësto will be performing at this year’s Yardfest. It appears the non-disclosure agreement actually worked this year. For now, though, Flyby wants to think of what could have been. There have been some truly wild rumors about which musician will grace the Yard, and everybody loves a little drama. Join us in revisiting all the whispered names and the memorable Facebook fights with this playlist of Yardfest rejects. Or, more likely, artists who rejected Yardfest. Listen on Flyby’s new Spotify for these artists and more!

Martin Garrix

CEB seemed more than happy to let this rumor flourish, and it was pretty believable. After all, we’ve had Steve Aoki; Garrix would be a continuation of the EDM trend. But there’s only so many times you can get turnt to ‘Animals.’

The Chainsmokers

Speaking of things there’s only so many times you can get turnt to. The Chainsmokers are probably too expensive, too bro-y, and too we-just-won-a-Grammy for Harvard, but enthusiasts still #believe.

Carly Rae Jepsen

No matter how plausible this theory was, those in the CRJ camp were very passionate. Remember when they fought with the group that wanted The Chainsmokers in a Facebook group? Good times.

Snoop Dogg

How this was a believable possibility, we’ll never know. As if Harvard could ever get the D-O-double G. Although, come to think of it, Yardfest is scheduled for the day after 4/20, so you never know…

Take a moment, everyone.

A Beginner’s Guide to Yardfest

Steve Aoki's Yardfest Performance
Yardfest headliner Steve Aoki entertains the crowd of students and guests Sunday.
Now that the Yardfest headliner has been announced, anxiety about whether the annual event is happening has hopefully dissolved. In the absence of those doubts, the most important thing you should be worrying about right now is how to reach the optimal level of litness come Friday. We've compiled some beginner's tips to help make Yardfest amazing:

Have your schedule clear

Imagine realizing you have a pset due in 20 minutes while you are grinding on a random bro-tank dude (spoiler alert: it’s not pretty). Finish your work in advance unless you want to listen to Tiësto through Lamont's walls.

Don’t get too lit

Although party hopping is the most fun part of the day, too many amateurs end up missing out on the concert itself. Pace yourself unless you want to experience Yardfest only through your friends’ snaps or, worse, at UHS.

Wear something simple

No matter how much you want to channel the Coachella boho glam style, please wear something you will not regret ruining. Between the HUDS buffet, dirt, mud, and some other questionable stains, your cute outfit might not survive the night. And don’t forget to protect your toes from crazy moshing kids by wearing closed-toe shoes. You will thank us later.

Prepare for the social media frenzy

Charge your phone so that you can Snapchat, Instagram and tweet the day (and night) away. If you’re not planning on attending, temporarily delete all social apps to prevent the biggest FOMO in your life.

Steve Aoki's Selfie
Steve Aoki grabbed Crimson photographer Ryosuke Takashima’s camera to snap a quick selfie during Aoki’s 2016 Yardfest performance.

Don’t make everyone hate you

Elbowing your way to the front, yelling “I love you” to the artist or even trying to climb up the stage is seriously not cool even if you’re Tiësto’s biggest fan. You might not remember your rudeness the next day, but we will. You may even get a Dude, That's Rude post written about you.

Take our advice but don’t worry too much—Yardfest is supposed to be messy. No matter what you do, there’s still a chance that you’ll wake up in fetal position at 2 p.m. the next day. Embrace the upcoming wildness and leave a glass—er, jug—of water near your bed, just in case.

Visitas Bucket List

Listen up, pre-frosh: although you might have your Visitas schedules tightly packed with events tricking you into thinking our college has a social scene, they might not always reflect your future experience here. Seriously, if you think that college is all about ice-cream socials, decorating cupcakes, and welcoming social spaces, maybe you should choose the arts and crafts school of New Haven (not really tho). To help you make the most of admitted students’ weekend, we've compiled a list of things you just have to do to get an ~authentic~ Harvard experience (sans the all-nighter induced tears and feelings of inadequacy).

Prefrosh Bags at Visitas
Work those backpacks.

Sit around the Yard

Gather your Visitas besties and soak up the spring sunshine on the Yard’s famed lawn. Wrestle a lawn chair or two from some tourists or catch Dean Dingman pensively smiling at your wholesome naïveté while real Harvard students are barricaded in Lamont.

Go on a (dry) River Run

Tour the upperclassmen houses but instead of the Rubinoff your host handed you with a wink, drink plenty of water. Don’t get too cocky—you’re not a student here and the amnesty policy, while a good reason to pick Harvard, doesn’t apply to you. Don’t get too lit if you want to bring brochures and free t-shirts home instead of a rescinded letter of admission.

Eat at 3 a.m.

While your helicopter parents might be horrified at the thought of you chowing down greasy Harvard Square food long past your bedtime, your college career will be full of wee-hour binges. Start training for future grease-marathons and check out our top late night picks: El Jefes (hearty Mexican food), Tasty Burger (semi-tasty burgers), Insomnia (the best damn cookies of your life), Kong (greasy Chinese food), and a 24-hour CVS (for those who stay up really late). After all, the novelty of Annenberg will wear off quicker than you think.

Watch the sunrise from the Charles River

Enjoy the river view of our beautiful campus that actually looks like the brochures. The collegiate look of the sunlit brick buildings will make you want to see this beauty on the regular.

Pee on the Statue

While the other two Harvard traditions might be hard to execute in your position (do pre-frosh even have Widener swipe access?), jumpstart your bucket list and give John H the good ol’ golden shower. The story of how you marked the statue will forever distinguish you from the foot-touching tourists and give you major props back in high school.

Check out Eleganza

April 22 marks Harvard’s biggest fashion and dance show that will certainly make a lasting impression with its electrifying performances. Although the breathtaking Eleganza models are not exactly representative of the sweatpants-clad student body, this display of human magnificence will prove that we’ve got the moves and that we’re the hottest Ivy #watchoutBrown.

At the end of the day, Visitas is all about having fun, soaking up the welcoming atmosphere, and not choosing the New Haven community college. So immerse yourself in Harvard’s unique culture and come show off your class t-shirts this fall as freshmen. We promise—you’ll love it here.

Dude That's Rude: Spring in the Yard

After months of fickle Cambridge weather, it finally has started warming up enough for the student populace to break out the salmon shorts, Birkenstocks, and start kickin’ it in the Yard. We all want to enjoy the weather as much as the next person, but there’s always those choice few types that make us want to lock ourselves inside. This spring, don’t be these people.

Guitar Kid

Listen, we’re all about music and promoting the arts at Harvard, but not when your art is Creep by Radiohead on an acoustic guitar you bought in sophomore year of highschool and there’s nowhere else for us to run to. No, “you don’t belong here.” If you’re gonna play music, make sure you’re not right up against people trying to speed-write their term papers. The Yard’s big enough for all of us, so please don’t force us to listen to Wonderwall or any Coldplay, please.

Spikeballers

If the weather’s above 55 degrees, you can guarantee someone has set up their Spikeball camp and is smacking away. Now, there’s nothing wrong with Spikeball itself if you’ve set up a space for yourself on the grass far away from everyone else. But, when you make the people around you have to duck every time your shirtless friend spikes it too hard, you make the Yard a danger zone for all innocent passerbys. Keep your distance and Spikeball in peace. (And put a shirt on.)

Chair Hogs

There aren’t nearly enough of those $300 artisan chairs to go around, so for the love of all things good, do not use a chair for your feet or your backpack. Although you might like to think so, you aren’t royalty, and you can put your feet on the ground like all the other plebeians. Plus, no one wants to sit down on a chair full of Yard dirt once you’ve vacated the premises. And if you squirreled a Yard chair away in your dorm room all winter, please kindly return it to the collective.

Trash Monsters

The Yard is essentially a wide expanse of dirt right now, so please keep the little grass we have left clean. When you’re done with your Starbucks Frappuccino or your Liquiteria Kale Juice with Apple Lemon and Ginger, throw the cup out, will ya? No one needs to be tripping over your trash while taking a nice stroll through the Yard.

The Yard is a great space for everyone to hang out in between classes, to picnic, and to soak up some rays while getting some work in. Make it a place everyone can thoroughly enjoy by keeping Flyby’s suggestions for Yard Courtesy, or else we'll have to tell you—rather forcibly since you'll be sullying our warm weather mood—dude, that's rude.

Tiësto Is Headlining Yardfest

Tiesto at Yardfest
Tiesto will headline this year's Yardfest concert.
Well it sure took them long enough.

With three days to spare, the College Events Board has decided to grace us with the name of this year’s Yardfest headliner: Tiësto.

It seems like every year the CEB does the same song and dance, making us wait till the very last possible second to learn the name of the Yardfest pick. There’s been more than enough build up; this year, a spat broke out on Facebook between two camps of students, one pulling for Carly Rae Jepsen to headline the concert and the other hoping the Chainsmokers would take the spot.

We understand—and would, under any other circumstance, appreciate—their love of suspense, but enough is enough.

Anyway, the choice of Tiësto as this year’s performer is sure to inspire mixed reactions considering his chosen genre of music. Electronic dance music—as sick as some of its beats may be—is often considered to be ill-suited for concerts because the artist doesn’t actually sing live, but rather plays pre-designed mixes. It’s definitely less enjoyable watching someone pushing buttons on a stage for a few hours—even if there’s cake and booze involved. That didn’t stop some folks from getting lit last year when Steve Aoki smashed through campus, and hopefully Tiesto, who's been crowned the "Greatest DJ of All Time" by MixMag Magazine, won't disappoint.

Mixed feelings aside, it’s nice to know that yes, Yardfest is happening, and no, Dean Khurana will not be DJing.

Here’s a rundown of the artists performing at other Ivy-League spring concerts in case you’re thinking of skipping town for a few days and partying it up somewhere else (note that many of these schools announced their performers many months in advance):

Columbia Bacchanal (April 8)

Aluna George

DRAM

Mykki Blanco

Almand

UPenn Spring Fling (April 21-22):

DJ Zedd

Tinashe

Brown Spring Weekend (April 28-29):

Princess Nokia

Empress Of

Young Thug

Cherry Glazerr

AlunaGeorge

Erykah Badu

Yale Spring Fling (April 29):

JoJo

Tory Lanez

Cornell Slope Day (May 11):

Big Gigantic

MisterWives

Patriots' Day and Other Nice Things Harvard Won't Let Us Have

The Flag at the Marathon
In front of a large stand flanking the finish line at the Boston Public Library, an American flag stands tall in the sun.
Picture this. It’s a beautiful Monday afternoon. You’re outside at a darty, living it up with some of your closest friends and some new friends from other schools. Everyone is in a great mood, and you can finally imagine what it feels like to attend a school that’s actually fun.

Now, imagine that you’re sitting in class and seeing all of your friends from other Boston schools living this life through their endless snap stories. This is how Harvard students feel every year on Patriots’ Day. As the only school that doesn’t get Marathon Monday off as a holiday, Harvard seems very committed to not letting its students have nice things. But we’re not here to make you feel better about that. To add insult to injury, here’s a list of other nice things that Harvard just won’t let us have.

Places to Use Our BoardPlus

We, too, are feeling bitter about the replacement of Greenhouse with Clover. Harvard clearly wants us to enjoy a trek to Northwest every day for lunch. The amount of BoardPlus Harvard gives us is inversely related to the amount of places we can use it. Makes a lot of sense.

A Real Social Scene

Now, we’ll never reach state school levels, but you never quite get over the harsh reality of Harvard social life as your third dorm party of the night gets shut down.

An End to Midterm Season

Midterm season started about three weeks into the semester. But now we have a question. How is it still a midterm if it’s the last week of school? That’s a final. Any exams after the second week of April that aren’t finals are rude and disrespectful. Which is apparently exactly on brand for Harvard.

School Spirit

I’m sure you thought that coming to college would mean huge tailgates and parties for all the sporting events. Try to find someone who attended a football game other than Harvard-Yale. And if that someone is on the football team, that doesn’t count. Nice try.

A Yardfest Artist

This one is particularly rough. At this point, we think everyone would even be happy with an artist from our middle school years (#MetroStationforYardfest2017). But we don’t even have that. This is only made worse by the fact that our dear neighbor to the south, Brown, has Young Thug and Erykah Badu.

Harvard Time

We thought we had this one thing, but now we don’t even have an excuse to be late to classes that we desperately don’t wanna be at. Let us live, Harvard.

How To Be the Most Freshman Freshman While You Still Can

With the end of academic year fast approaching, the Class of 2020 is likely excited about moving out of the lower ranks of Harvard's social hierarchy and finally becoming upperclassmen. Little do they know that the stress of concentration declaration and recruiting sometimes strikes the hearts of ~cool~ sophomores and seniors with nostalgia for the sweet innocence of freshman year. Remember when you still wanted to “make a positive impact” with your degree and weren’t crushed by the superiority of your peers? Freshmen, take heed and enjoy the joys of your first and last chill year of college before they become socially unacceptable.

Wear your lanyard AND your Harvard Class of 2020 shirt

Nothing betrays a freshman more than the utilitarian but very un-hip lanyard and basic class shirt everyone got in the mail. Still, not being recognized as a Harvard student by tourists is pretty damaging to your ego, so don the unofficial uniform of opening days while society still forgives you for this ultimate fashion faux-pas.

Party irresponsibly

Don’t get us wrong: wandering around the square in an attempt to find a final club with the lowest admittance standards, sloppily making out with a pre-orientation buddy, and drunkenly chowing down at the Kong at 3 a.m. are all unacceptable gaffes. But if you're a freshman high on the lack of parental supervision, gross partying is still kinda cute. When you’re an upperclassmen it’s just sad.

Be annoying in class

This is the only time you can raise your hand in class and lay out ten types of pens on the table without instantly becoming section kid. You’re not overeager—college just hasn't crushed your spirit yet. Yet.

Befriend Tommy D

Dean Dingman is very chill but he only chills with freshmen, so if you want to be friends with the most charming of middle-aged bros, befriend him before you become irrelevant.

“Accidentally run” into your First Chance Dance/Opening Days fling in the Berg

Unless they live in the same House as you next year, you will never have to deal with the agony of you and your ex both reaching for the mashed potatoes at the same time. So embrace the sitcom-worthy awkwardness while you still can—it’ll make a funny story to tell during the reunion brunch senior year.

Before you move on up to House life burn your freshman dorm t-shirt and don’t forget to say bye to John—he will surely miss you.

Obscure Harvard Lingo To Give You Away At Your Summer Internship

Harvard Snapchat Sticker
I'm sorry, where do you go to school again?

So you’re proud of being fluent in our school’s jargon and sounding like a proper upperclassman. Reality check: although you might as well get a language citation in Harvard, the skill of juggling terms like “proctor” or “SOCH” will not earn you points in real life.

Sadly, outside of our little bubble these terms have little relevance, so your use of college-specific lingo is going to result in either confusion or rolled eyes (they get that you go to Harvard). So start transitioning to real-world language to accommodate people who still say “finals clubs” and ask about your "major". Or double down on these obscure terms if you want to be that pretentious a**hole whose every fifth word is "Harvard".

Concentration and secondary

Although these terms are beloved trademarks of our school, people in the real world use words like “major”, “minor” and “course of study” to describe their academic specialization. But if you want to confuse or humblebrag, by all means tell them about your History of Eastern Slavic Literature secondary (you are sooo interesting).

Harvard Time

An important thing to remember—the real world does not operate on Harvard time. Seriously, your supervisor is not going to accept it as an excuse when you’re smug about being 7 minutes late.

Punch

Hate to break it to you, but nobody cares that you were punched by both the Porcellian and the Owl. You’re lucky if anybody has even heard of these frat surrogates (pray they actually saw the “Social Network”).

HUDS

The timeless joke of “anything is better than HUDS food” is not going to make anyone chuckle (actually, that is true even at Harvard). So, please leave dining hall jokes to us.

TF/preceptor

Don’t disappoint the general public by revealing that we are not actually taught by Harvard’s world-renowned faculty. Although these professors are usually listed as course instructors, TFs are the actual teachers. Still, maybe it’s a good thing Mankiw only graced us with his presence like two times this semester?

Expos

Even upperclassmen forget about the torture that is Expository Writing immediately after freshman year. Don’t count on anyone outside of Harvard even remotely understanding the term.

Q Guide

Unfortunately, you can’t angrily decide to give your superiors a bad Q score every time they annoy you.

These obscure terms (plus many more) are a dead giveaway of your Harvard-ness. Seriously, your “I go to a school near Boston” won’t fool anyone unless you ditch the lingo.

Identities and Eleganza: What's the Difference?

Do you consider yourself a fashionista? Do you like looking at hot people? Style mavens and human beauty aficionados rejoice, as April is Harvard’s most ~fabulous~ month. After all, April 15 and 22 mark the dates of Harvard's most premier fashion shows—Identities and Eleganza. However, if you’re #basic enough to enjoy salmon shorts and Vineyard Vines or still a clueless freshman, you might still be confused.

“Wait a second—Identities and Eleganza aren’t the same thing? Why are my friends all of a sudden posting weirdly edited pics of them "smizing" intensely?”

Don’t worry, we are here to fill you in with the freshest details about the absolute crème de la crème of glamour on campus.

First and foremost—Identities and Eleganza are NOT the same thing.

Eleganza is a fashion and dance show founded in 1994 by the umbrella organization Harvard Black C.A.S.T. The show is not just about pizzaz and oozing sex appeal; Eleganza models razzle dazzle for a cause. The show toutes its inclusivity and diversity, and donates all the proceeds from the 2000+ tickets sold to the Boston Center for Teen Empowerment. In this show, the clothes are less important than the electrifying atmosphere and high energy moves.

Year in Photos - News - Eleganza
Lindiwe-Claudia Rennert ’14 and Jarvis K. Harris ’15 perform at the 2014 Eleganza Show on April 26 on the 20th anniversary of the charity fashion show in Lavietes Pavillion.

Identities, on the other hand, is a younger and more classic runway show. It’s a showcase of creativity and style centered around the Leadership of the Arts Award and is known for its inventive themes (this year’s is “Fashion + Technology”) and fancy VIP goody bags. In line with this year’s innovative theme, the show’s keynote speaker is Ivan Poupyrev, the team lead for Google's wearable tech launch “Project Jacquard.”

Identities
Harvard undergraduates strut down the catwalk of the annual Identities fashion show on Saturday evening in the Northwest Labs. Identities is a student-produced show founded in 2006 to showcase international designers from Paris to Japan.

They do have similarities though.

Both shows, like everything at this college, are extremely selective—only those with the most symmetrical faces and hottest moves make the cut. Despite not favoring people without the swag of an American Apparel employee (#RIP we’ll miss you AA), Identities and Eleganza are still committed to diversity. Representatives from both shows recently discussed issues of representation and inclusivity during a town hall meeting.

So catch us obsessing over our beautiful and talented classmates (we’re not jealous, we promise) on April 15 at Northwest Labs for Identities and April 22 at Bright-Landry Hockey Center for Eleganza.

The Four Types of Guys You Meet On LinkedIn

Face it: it’s hard to make connections. Whether it's LinkedIn, Tinder, Bumble, or even real life. When staring down your dating prospects on the “professional network,” here are the four types of guys you will meet and how you can use each of these connections to your advantage.

The guy who just made his profile and forgot about it

His profile picture is probably his high school senior photo, if he even has one at all. He barely mentions anything about achievements, jobs, and maybe even his full name (how else are you supposed to Instagram stalk him to see if it’s worth sliding into those DMs)? He either quit in the middle of making his profile and doesn’t care anymore or forgot his password. Might not be the greatest person to connect with.

The guy who fakes it until he makes it

This is that guy who lists himself as CEO of a company…a company which doesn't exist yet. We're an advocate of reaching for the stars but always make sure to check if said company is legit and what else he does on the side.

The guy who does the absolute most

This guy has published so many LinkedIn articles about topics you’ve never even thought about for more than a fleeting moment. He's published all the awards he's received since elementary school, even the award given to best line leader in the first grade. In each post, he mentions all his interactions with somewhat famous people, even if he just happened to know someone who is a second cousin of said famous person. Unfortunately he probably has a lot of connections, so it wouldn't hurt to be in his circle. Smash that “Connect” button.

The guy you actually want to connect with

He’s the one in the career or sector of your dreams. He’d be a perfect mentor, boss, or even associate to you. Connecting with him would open up a whole new world. But you will wait weeks for him to connect with you or even read your earnest appeal that you practiced through OCS sessions. If he actually responds, it will be at the worst possible moment like when you actually have an internship or when you are about to graduate. Alas, 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Things You Can (Only) Do When the Weather Is Nice

Complaining about the weather is finally off the convo starters table, and Harvard students can now bond over the coming of spring instead. However, even though the sun seems so bright and the weather forecasts so promising, the current wonderful weather is likely short-lived. Don’t squander these few precious warm days and go outside. Feel the balmy air gently caressing your skin instead of ripping it off your face as usual. Most importantly, do everything you’ve dreamt about doing during the oppressive cold and rain that tormented us just a week ago. Seriously, don’t waste time — fickle Cambridge climate will likely bless us with another snowstorm any minute now.

Plan a picnic

Catch people asking you to “grab a meal sometime” by surprise and invite them on a picnic. The wholesome sight of cheery students enjoying the weather is certainly brochure-admissions worthy, and might even put a smile on Dean Khurana’s face. If you are feeling extra adventurous, have that picnic in the beautiful Boston Common, but don’t forget to wrap the bottle with a paper bag. Or grab a blanket, a love interest, and some El Jefe’s to go, for a cheap and romantic stargazing date (bonus points if they appreciate your burrito breath).

Take pretty pictures

Your mom has probably asked you to send her some pictures of Harvard a million times. After all, she has to illustrate her “My kid goes to Harvard, what does your kid do?” smugness somehow, right? Now that the beautiful architecture isn’t obscured by the never ending flurry of snowstorms, you can finally take humblebraggy Instas of our campus in all its sunny collegiate glory.

Exercise outside

Exercising is only dreadful if you do it in stuffy Hemenway surrounded by smug law students who you totally weren’t checking out. Getting physical outside might even give you a healthy bronzed glow to show off at Yardfest (though we’re not even sure if it’s still happening).

Enjoy cold delicacies

Warm weather means iced drinks and cold desserts are back. Finally, nobody is going to condemn your ice cream eating habits (except for that judgy roommate). Special shoutout to HUDS, who better come through with that raspberry pomegranate aka. the best dhall ice cream flavor.

Wear something nice

Whip out your cutest outfits that you bought in back-to-school excitement but couldn’t actually wear. And if you really are ~extra~, show the world that Elle Woods is forever our spirit animal and soak the warm rays in that sparkly piece that will get you into a lot of tourist pics. Or, feel free to don some shades to avoid annoying link mates and networkers, and look extremely cool while doing so.

So soak up some Vitamin D, get into your happy spring mood ,but don’t put away your Goose just yet — Cambridge weather might be even more fickle and unreliable than Harvard’s wifi.

Flyby's Spring Vibes Playlist

Finally, Cambridge has accepted that it’s spring. Quick, enjoy it while it lasts, because you never know when the weather gods will decide to take it away from us. We’ve got a playlist full of upbeat, ~fresh~ spring vibes songs for you to sing along to. Play it while you enjoy your walk to class—or while you skip class to savor the sun. We all need a few of those days to recover from the winter.

Playlist Cover
Check out Flyby's new Spotify account!

Sweet Caroline / Neil Diamond

It’s classic, it’s sweet, and it’s a perennial jam. Plus, if you’re humming along to ‘Sweet Caroline’, you’ll fit right in with the rest of Boston. Get ready for baseball season!

Galway Girl / Ed Sheeran

Ed Sheeran went on a year-long sabbatical from our stressful, trying world, and of course his comeback album is full of adorable springtime songs. Maybe it’s too late to study abroad in the fall, but you can pretend you’re in Ireland with this ode.

Me Enamoré / Shakira

Is a playlist of any kind complete without Shak?

Walking On Sunshine / Katrina & the Waves

Don’t lie—you’re already singing it to yourself. There’s no bad mood this song can’t fix, and it’s perfect for when the weather hits 80 (!!!) or even when you’re trying to pretend there’s no thunderstorm in the forecast...

Listen to the full playlist on Flyby’s brand-new Spotify account here!

Meet Matthew Young, the Batman of Pfoho's Guinea Pig World

Matthew Young may seem like just another tutor living in Pfoho. And, by day, he is. But by night he takes on a new persona, and with it, a new title: the Guinea Pig Sheriff of Pfoho. You might ask, what the hell does this mean? It's admittedly kind of hard to explain, but we like to thing of Young as the Batman of guinea pig caretakers; the cage is his Gotham, and he is hell-bent on ensuring justice, or at least good care, is carried out.

Of course, while this job comes with many perks (the title for one), it also comes with a host of challenges and responsibilities. It’s not all fun and games when it comes to enforcing guinea pig law—sometimes you have to get your hands dirty. And that’s why we couldn’t pass up the chance to get an exclusive interview with the Guinea Pig Sheriff of Pfoho and hear it from the legend himself.

Guinea Pigs
Who wouldn't want to protect these cuties?

What are your responsibilities as Guinea Pig Sheriff?

MY: Pfoho has pfour guinea pigs. Their names are Pfiona, Pfoebe, Penelope aka Penny, and Piper. The Guinea Pig Sheriffs and Deputies ensure that our piggies are well-fed, groomed, and ready to engage with students and visitors. Pfolks can visit them any time as we keep them in a common space. My deputy sheriffs also help with clipping nails and shampooing.

If you visit, they request that you bring some tasty veggies or fruits. Carrots and green leafy veggies especially welcome.

What are the qualifications needed to become the sheriff?

MY: You must first make an offering of tasty veggies or fruits. Then you must become skilled in the art of grooming and shampooing the piggies.

During your time as guinea pig sheriff, have you ever really had to lay down the law?

MY: Yes—sometimes the piggies will get a little aggressive with each other when all four are together, so we keep Pfoebe and Penny separate because they do not get along.

As guinea pig sheriff can you arrest people too, or just guinea pigs?

MY: Only piggies who have wandered out of their playroom. It would be considered false imprisonment to arrest people.

How has being the guinea pig sheriff changed you?

MY: It's been great—students from all the Quad houses and many of the River houses come and spend time with our piggies. Many regard it as a Transformative Experience. My hope is one day they'll become famous and end up on the Harvard Memes page.

In the end, Matthew is the hero these guinea pigs deserve, need, and have; a symbol of hope and an inspiration to us all. Maybe we should all find the guinea pig sheriff within.

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