Spring is finally here. For the Harvard Hoochies, a group of self-proclaimed “BU biddies, hooching and husband hunting at Harvard Final Clubs,” that means more than nicer weather. For one, there's the start of Garden Party Season, which the Hoochies had been eagerly counting down to on their new website.
But the start of Spring also means that a whole host of new Harvard teams and athletes are taking the field. We caught up with the Harvard Hoochies to get their thoughts on baseball, lawn sports, and their summer plans.
The Harvard Crimson: It’s been almost two months since we last caught up. What’s been going on?
THC: We’ve heard there have been some new additions to the Harvard Hoochies. How are the rookies performing thus far?
We were going to initiate four new Hoochies, but things didn’t go as planned. Read up on it here.
THC: What’s the process like for becoming a Harvard Hoochie? Is there a draft? Do you guys have scouts?
HH: The biddies who were potential new Hoochies frequent the final club scene quite a bit. There was an initiation process that involved heavy drinking and reciting the history of Harvard and the Harvard Hoochies.
THC: Been to any good Harvard sports games recently?
HH: We like athletes, not sports. Big difference.
THC: Did y'all get to watch the basketball team play Vanderbilt in the NCAA tournament? If so, what did you think of the game?
HH: Why would one waste time watching a basketball game when one can be in a tanning bed?
THC: Lax bros or baseball bros?
HH: How can you choose? You have the baseball guys in those tight pants, aka, The Delphic bros in those tight pants.
And when it comes to Harvard Lax…have you seen Dan DiMaria’s hair blowing in the wind? It’s like an Herbal Essence commercial.
THC: Favorite spring athletes?
HH: The favorite athlete will be the one who pops the question with a rock bigger than what Brad gave Angie.
THC: Favorite lawn sport?
HH: It’s a toss-up between tanning and dayging.
THC: What’s the hooching process like over the summer?
HH: In addition to honing in on that virginal, summertime glow, we will all be graduating. Our followers will get to see where we take the Harvard Hoochies next.
THC: Any big plans before graduation?
HH: Besides not studying and bedazzling our graduation caps, we will also be throwing a few ragers at Daisy Buchanan’s (@DaisysBoston), including one this Friday.
There’s also the goal of being impregnated by a final club bro, but that’s a given.