The blog of The Harvard Crimson

“Fashion Police” Host Rocks Harvard Shirt

Harvard scored some major pop culture points this Wednesday when comedian Kathy Griffin was spotted hiking in Hollywood while rocking a Harvard t-shirt. Though we at Flyby don’t fully understand how it’s possible to hike in Hollywood, we’re still jazzed that the current host of E! network’s “fashion police” would even consider wearing a Harvard shirt while accomplishing this. 

Perhaps more impressive than Griffin’s matching “plum red” lipstick is the fact that she didn’t even have to buy the shirt. Harvard University, and the reigning world’s chillest former interim Dean of the College Donald H. Pfister, presented it to her back in 2013 in recognition for her work with veterans.

Although Griffin never went to college, instead choosing to study comedy with a troupe in L.A., she hasn’t been held back by her lack of a formal degree. From writing a best-selling novel to dating Apple co-founder Steve Wozniack, she’s done things Harvard students can only dream of.

Amy Poehler Named Ridgley Hall Room 52 Woman of the Year

Well this is awkward. I was going to announce it later, but it looks like the Pudding beat me to it. Amy Poehler, you are the Ridgely Room 52 Woman of the Year (WOY)! What a coincidence!

Amy, you should be honored. Room 52 is even more prestigious than the Hasty Pudding Club. We only have two members, and my roommate is out of town a lot, so it’s basically just me!

There won’t be a roast, or a pudding cup. And while I can’t throw you a parade, we can walk up the five flights of stairs to my room (there’s an elevator, but you don’t want to do that). And if you want a party, we can throw you one! I have a ton of mints from the dining hall, and we’re right above Insomnia Cookies (talk about prime real estate)! I can get booze too, although I already have a nib of something called Kinky, and a bottle of 2011 Charles Shaw.

I will invite all of my blockmates and estranged linkmates, so my common room will really feel full. “What’s a linkmate,” you ask? Don’t worry, we can spend most of the night going over Harvard lingo. Also, bring a pen! I have a book for you to sign. We just have to be done by 11p.m., because the 29th is a Thursday, and it will be quiet hours.

Amy, consider this your official invitation to Ridgley 52. I’ll be in my room all night, waiting, with the cookies.

Please come.

 

The Best of Flyby in 2014

Flyby 2014!
This is how we blog #goviral
2014 was a great year here at Flyby. You laughed, you shared it with your friends, and then you laughed some more. In no particular order, here are some of the highlights that you won’t want to miss reading (or re-reading):

1. Hollywood at Harvard I & II
It turns out more than a few Harvard students have already reached levels of stardom through familiar faces and posts in their FB class group. This two-part series features both freshman facebook celebrities and campus celebrity lookalikes. (Spoiler alert: Dean Dingman and Dennis Quaid?!)

2. Fifteen Coldest Freshmen
You’ve read about the fifteen hottest, but with Boston’s icy winters, Flyby knows what you really care about: which freshmen are freezing in the yard.

3. Roving Reporter: How Do You Spell Pforzheimer?
Flyby reporters did some groundwork, asking students to spell out the name of one of the Quad House often abbreviated as “Pfoho.” Hilarity ensues.

4. Reasons You Shouldn’t Go to Harvard
There are definitely some cons to being a student at Harvard. Class of 2019, read these reasons carefully before making a final decision (Yes, the Annenberg toaster really is that far away).

5. Kirkland Did What?!– A History of Harvard Presidents
Flyby often finds hidden gems about Harvard’s history, but this post on the namesake of each House takes the cake. (So Kirkland was the one who came up with sectioning and grades!)

6. Questions You’ve Got About Harvard’s New Sexual Assault Policy, Answered
Despite the controversy surrounding Harvard’s sexual assault policy, many students are confused over what exactly is the policy. Read above for a concise rundown on the new policies and procedures.

7. Freshman v.s. Senior: The Older the Wiser?
Giving some harsh truths about a student’s evolution throughout college, here's an infographic that encapsulates the differences between freshmen and seniors– having no qualms about neglecting your readings for Netflix and calling the walk to Tasty Burger a workout are some key differences.

8. Living Larista Loca at Lamont
Flyby interviewed a Larista for all the details about working at Lamont Cafe, including a thief (!), the most popular drink order, and the busiest times of the day (or night).  

9Illegal Pets: Beatrice the Cannibal Hedgehog
Pets aren’t allowed in student dorms, but this fall, Flyby conducted an Illegal Pets series (here and here), complete with anonymous interviews of those who have furry friends, perhaps even carnivorous hedgehogs, in their rooms.

10. What Do Harvard Students Do for Fun?
It’s no secret that Harvard students care about their extracurriculars, so here's a quiz testing your knowledge of student organizations—you may have a bit of trouble telling whether Harvard Financial Analysts Club, Veritas Consulting Group, or Harvard Investing Club is the real deal.

11. Young Joe Biden Was a Hottie
Joe Biden gave a speech at the Institute of Politics last October. Therefore, we thought it was only fitting to provide you with a #tbt pic of the VP, as well as some lesser known facts about him (skinny dipping, what?!) Note: He also may have more in common with 2014’s UC VP, Sietse K. Goffard ‘15, than you might think.

12. Wanted: 'Secretary' for Final Club Initiation
A Harvard sophomore put up an ad on Craigslist asking for an assistant to deal with the student’s “administrative work,” such as “picking up dry cleaning” and “turning in homework.” #literallywhat

13. Listen Up!: The Love Edition
Dev A. Patel ‘16 and Steven S. Lee ‘16 took over the popular Listen Up! column on Flyby this year to enlighten Harvard with some advice on finding love, housing arrangements, and even disposing of a dead body.

14. Fox News Thinks We Are a 'Threat to the Gene Pool'
Who can forget Fox News’ odd interpretation of Harvard students’ views on ISIS? Flyby broke down Fox’s response, picking out the most absurd comments.

15. Dining Delights
Regardless of whether you’ve been tired of HUDS or just afraid of making unhealthy choices (aka the "940 calorie" blondie brownie controversy), we give you a few delicious and easy-to-follow recipes that can all be made in the dhall– tofu tortilla, anyone?

16. Exclusive Investigative Report: Local Brussels (Spr)Outage
Everyone loves Clover's brussels sprouts sandwich and when the future of this sandwich was jeopardized, Ivan B.K. Levingston '17 rose to the occasion. 

Love these posts? (Of course you do). Like us on Facebook for some more great posts like this in the new year! And incase you miss us, we’re also on Twitter and Instagram.

"IVY" Episode Two, As Told by GIFs

Nine months later, the second episode of “IVY” finally came out. But it was worth the wait.

When “IVY” last left off, the first episode introduced its main characters: five sophomores who are all roommates at Harvard. It was essentially a look into their lives, covering everything from awkward TF meetings, nameless hookups, some drug dealing, concentration interviews, and deep conversations.

Episode Two, titled “Harley,” focuses specifically on (as the title implies) one of the five main characters, Harley, played by Juliana Sass ‘17. This episode continues to showcase the drama of an Ivy League education. And while sometimes, you might find yourself groaning at the over-stereotyped college student, more often than not you might relate to some of the day-to-day life.

For one, it seems to adequately convey the true attitude of a Harvard student.


And no worries, it also contains just as many awkward moments (read: makeouts) as the first episode.
This time there's even an incredibly awkward hug (basically reminiscent of one of those unexpected hugs with an acquaintance en route to class)!
Bonus points for some feminism thrown in there! Even if it’s drunk feminism.
Most importantly however, it conveys the Harvard angst that the first episode so accurately conveyed.
I found myself torn between thinking “IVY” is entirely inaccurate but also entirely accurate of Harvard life. No matter your opinion, you might be tearing up a little bit at the end because you realize how corrupt our silly Harvard lives are. But thanks to “IVY,” you can pretend like you’re crying over a television show and not your actual life.

Let’s keep ‘em coming, “IVY.” (Please, please don’t make us wait another nine months. We can’t handle the suspense. As you've depicted, our lives have enough angst. Don’t add to our pile of troubles.)

 

New Year's Resolutions: Expectations vs. Reality

Happy New Year, everyone! Chances are, you’ve been busy these past couple of days washing Wednesday night’s glitter out of your hair and more importantly, coming up with ways to “better yourself” with your New Year’s resolutions. To avoid the crushing disappointment you’ll experience when you inevitably break those highly unrealistic goals two weeks into the semester, we’ve compiled a list of your resolutions, along with the ways that they’re doomed to play out. Because at the end of the day, the best New Year’s resolution is to stop making New Year’s resolutions.

Working Out
Expectation: You tell yourself that this is going to be the year that you finally get into tip-top shape. You lay in your bed dreaming of your soon-to-be chiseled abs and toned arms, and the hot people you’re going to meet at the MAC and Hemenway during your daily trips to the treadmill.
Reality: You will go to the MAC once. It will be at 9 a.m. during shopping week. You will shortly realize that losing two hours of sleep is not worth running alongside old people that you have never seen before. You will soon revert back to telling yourself that your daily walk from the Yard to the Science Center is sufficient exercise.

Eating Healthy
Expectation: You picture a world full of whole grains, cold-pressed juices, and leafy greens. You promise to frequent the salad bar from now on, and to limit yourself to one bowl of Marshmallow Mateys per week.
Reality: You will abandon this goal as soon as the semester’s first Sunday Sundaes rolls around. People who say “nothing tastes as good as healthy feels” have clearly never tried chocolate ice cream coated in hot fudge and Oreo pieces.

Waking Up Earlier
Expectation: The early bird gets the worm, right? You figure that doing your laundry and getting extra work done at the crack of dawn are both good ideas. You promise to set your alarm t0 8 a.m. every day and experience the “whole new world” that your roommate is always talking about.
Reality: Why did you ever think that was a good idea? After two terrible days of slugging yourself to Annenberg for lukewarm scrambled eggs, you come to your senses and conclude that there is no reason to be up this early until your 9 a.m. final 15 weeks from now.

Being A Cleaner Roommate
Expectation: There was a little bit of tension last semester, but 2015 will be the year that you bury the hatchet for once and for all. You’ll greet your roommate after break and exclaim that they’ll never have to see your entire wardrobe on the bedroom floor ever again. You even arrive with new storage bins from The Container Store to shelve all of your useless crap.
Reality: You will actually try really hard with this one, and will more or less succeed until your first load of laundry. After that, your mess of clothes and papers and trash from Tasty Burger and Au Bon Pain will spiral into oblivion. You will feel bad, so you will surface clean once every few weeks to temporarily hide the fact that you’re a disgusting slob.

 

A Practical To-Do List Before 2014 Ends

2015 is surprisingly only a couple of days away, and we’re all probably wondering what in the world we’ve accomplished this past year (with the exception of procrastinating, napping, and going to Lamont only to be on Facebook for 3 hours). Unless you’re spending your time vacationing in a foreign country or volunteering in an NGO, here are some of things to do if you want to squeeze in a little productivity before the year ends:

1) Making space on your phone
A new year means new music, new gifs and new photos, so you should probably remove all those old pics to make room. Because if a moment isn’t uploaded to Instagram, did it really happen? Do you actually need all those embarrassing bathroom selfies you took at those parties from last semester? And no, you don’t need 20 blurry pics of you trying to get a photo of the Harvard turkey en route to class. Besides, you need room for all those New Year's Eve selfies to post on FB.

2) Catching up on all the shows you’ve missed
In between all the studying and networking you’ve been doing, you might’ve fallen behind on your favorite TV shows or put off starting new ones.  How embarrassing would it be to say that you haven't finished "House of Cards" by the end of this year– social faux pas much? Maybe binge on "Orange is the New Black" or listen to "Serial." If you can complete a ten page paper in a single night (don’t deny it), you can definitely watch all the (few) episodes of "Ivy" and "Absent."

3) Helping Someone Out With their College Applications
Though most of us blacked out life before college, don’t forget that many high school seniors are working on their applications to college right now. Whether it’s a family member or someone from your old school, there's probably someone out there who’s procrastinated on their apps. Maybe you’re feeling super charitable from the holiday season or perhaps you’re feeling guilty about the lack of community service you’ve done this past year, but give out last minute tips, help edit essays, or tell high school seniors any iteration of “You’re (insert synonym for amazing/awesome/great/wonderful)” incase they’re assessing their self-worth entirely on what they wrote in their Common Apps.

4) Planning for the next semester and summer
It’s a great time to start thinking about what you want to do this summer, applying for programs and funding, or re-editing your resume for the tenth time. You might also want to start shopping for next semester’s classes on the CS50 site. But then again, what even is college if you don’t procrastinate, aka wait until the last day of break to see what classes you’re going to tomorrow?

 

Psy Accepted to Exclusive Harvard Club

Korean pop star Psy is in an elite club of artists with over one billion views on YouTube for his hit song “Gangnam Style.” However, earlier this month he became a member of an even more exclusive club. That’s right, the Harvard Club of Korea made Psy an honorary member for his contributions towards “raising awareness of Korea around the world.”

Psy’s love affair with Harvard started back in May of 2013, when he gave a speech at Memorial Church about his career as a singer and the success of “Gangnam Style.” Nearly 800 students attended his talk, during which he shared funny anecdotes, such as the time he had a bad case of diarrhea. At the end of his talk, he gave everyone a free boxed Korean dinner as a form of thanks for coming out the night before the first day of finals– we see you, Psy, gaining the affections of Harvard students maxed out on swai and golden nuggets.

Though Psy actually studied at Boston University and Berklee College of Music and said that Harvard “felt a universe away” during his collegiate days, he can now attend swanky Harvard networking events and alumni parties as a member of the Harvard Club. Take that celebrity parties!

However, it turns out that you don’t need two billion views on youtube to be invited to join the Harvard Club of Korea—according to the organization’s website, “all members of the Harvard community” can become a part of the club. Although we at Flyby are very tempted to join so we can network with Psy and snag some free YouTube advice, we’ll wait until he announces dancing classes before buying a full membership.

HUPD Police Log 11/7 - 12/4: Unauthorized Bedazzling and A Rejected Christmas Caroler

HUPD has had their hands full with us Harvard students over the past few weeks. Between stolen Disney tickets, breaking into Northwest Labs, and unrecognized roommates, it seems that a lot's been going on around campus. As part of our Securitas Series, we've combed through recent HUPD logs and published some of the more colorful entries below.

November 7
Officer dispatched to a report of two mattresses in the tree outside of the building. Officer arrived and report operations notified and are taking care of the issue.

“We’re building a treehouse!”

Officers dispatched to a report of a large group of individuals in the area. Officers arrived and report group were Northeastern University students doing a scavenger hunt. The officers moved the group along.

The hunters become the hunted.

November 11
Officers dispatched to a report of an unwanted guest trying to gain access into an area within [Northwest Laboratory]. Officer arrived, located the individual and informed the individual that they could not access the area due to the holiday.

Genuinely sad for the person trying to break into Northwest Labs on a day off. Do less.

November 12
Officers dispatched to a report of individuals throwing water balloons out of their window. Officers arrived and report could not locate individuals.

Funny in the summer, evil in November.

November 13
Officer took a report of past incidents of indecent exposure.

Even HUPD is against white jeans after Labor Day.

November 14
Officers dispatched to a report of a group of individuals causing a disturbance and looking like they’re about to fight. Officers arrived and report individuals were friends just fooling around.

It’s all fun and games until HUPD gets involved.

November 17
Officer dispatched to take a report of vandalism to an individual's shoes.

Unauthorized bedazzling.

November 22
Officers dispatched to a report of an individual whose hat was taken. Officers arrived and located individuals and the reporting party was given their hat back.

Middle school dance déjà vu.

Officers dispatched to a report of loud noise coming from the area. Officers arrived and report no noise, area quiet.

If someone makes a noise but HUPD doesn’t hear it, was any noise made at all?

November 27
Officers dispatched to a report of an unknown individual in an individual's room. Officers arrived and report individual was reporting party's roommate.

Seriously?

December 2
Officers dispatched to a report of an individual wandering around the area and knocking on doors. Officers arrived and report individual gone on arrival.

A rejected Christmas caroler.

December 3
Officer dispatched to take a report of two stolen packages containing Forever 21 clothes valued at $20.00 and admission tickets to Disney.

The saddest theft report I’ve ever read.

December 4
Officers dispatched to a report of individuals trying to climb out of the stadium. Officers arrived and report individuals gone on arrival.

Fact: athletes are faster than HUPD.

 

Netflix Study Breaks

Students are supposed to be studying, attending review sessions, and finishing papers. But in a world where Netflix is a thing—and at a school where HBO Go is free—now is about when everything can (and, in all likelihood, will) quickly disintegrate into watching period. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t still spend this time learning, in one way or another.

Here is a list of some movies, shows, and videos you should watch during your “occasional” study breaks in the next few days if you A) don’t want to feel too bad about procrastination and B) are trying to gain some knowledge you won’t find by burying your head in a textbook.

The Wire

David Simon’s The Wire (2002-2008), a show centered around policemen and drug dealers in Baltimore, Maryland, is widely regarded as one of the greatest television shows ever produced. In the wake of the controversial grand jury decisions on the deaths of Michael Brown and Eric Garner, this in-depth look at the relationship between the police and citizens of low-income communities could not be more relevant. Available on HBO Go, this show is definitely worth checking out, even if it won’t exactly create a relaxing distraction from studying.

Killer Mike’s Speech on Ferguson

If you don’t have the time to binge-watch five epic seasons of The Wire, spend five minutes watching rapper Killer Mike’s speech to a St. Louis crowd the night of the Ferguson grand jury’s decision. In this video, Mike puts into words the thoughts and emotions of thousands of people throughout the country and follows it up with a high-octane performance off of his new album “Run The Jewels 2.”

Good Will Hunting and/or Stand and Deliver

If you’re having trouble motivating for a math final, put on Good Will Hunting (available on Netflix) to remind you that math can be cool (after all, Matt Damon does it) and that you live in one of the most awesome cities in the world. If that doesn’t get the job done, then watch the 1988 classic Stand and Deliver (available on Amazon Instant), a film in which teacher Jaime Escalante (Edward James Olmos) motivates struggling students at a struggling school to learn calculus. If they could do it, so can you!

Top Five

If you (gasp!) decide to leave Cambridge and head to a movie theater, go see Chris Rock play a struggling comic in his latest film, Top Five. Rock (who also wrote and directed the movie) has been making waves in the last week on his press tour for the film, commenting on issues from Bill Cosby to Ferguson, but Rock is, first and foremost, hilarious. And according to critics, this film is no exception. Rock’s character in Top Five, comedian/actor Andre Allen, repeatedly asks reporters in the movie: “Can we talk about the film?” By seeing Top Five, you’ll be able to do just that.

'Absent' Offers Confusion, Colorblindness & Life-Giving Saltines

I have to admit that I was eagerly anticipating the first episode of “Absent.”

This new, angsty, Harvard-centric sci-fi web series came in the wake of the popular and well-received premiere of “IVY,” the first show to capture the intricacies of the Ivy League experience on film. With all the surrounding hype, “Absent” promised to be just as good as its predecessor—if not better.

Well, it didn’t quite live up to the hype.

At first, I was actively trying to make sense out of what was going on. But then nineteen minutes and fifty-two seconds passed, and no such luck.

The episode begins with a crescendo and a minimalist title scene. Cut to the opening scene, set in a dorm room. Athletic blockmates rattle off expletive-filled lines, brag loudly about their party-going antics, and trade pset answers for scotch. A dark-haired boy (Skip Ros ’17) broods silently in a corner before disappearing. Cut to the next scene. Two friends complain about their problem sets over sandwiches and Doritos. Next scene. A guy in black-rimmed glasses rambles to an unresponsive girl studying in the library.

Scene by scene the episode goes on, with some of these characters seemingly becoming invisible, running away, fighting over the alien-like diamond substance, eating magical life-giving saltine crackers, and looking as confused as the viewer undoubtedly feels. The scenes switch so rapidly and illogically that it is difficult to find any thread of commonality among them. If there is any semblance of plot, it’s obfuscated by layers of pretension and contrived dialogue.

Another major problem? There are too many characters to keep track of, making it impossible to become invested in any of them. Characters yell at one another for no apparent reason, treat one another with inexplicable hostility, or create drama out of nothing. Viewers are given no backstory to explain these behaviors, no context, nothing to engage with but scene after relentless scene of trivial interactions between interchangeable figures.

Some vague element of supernatural design also serves to further complicate matters. The underlying assumption is that certain people become invisible, for reasons that are never explained… not even to themselves. These invisible people can apparently no longer interact with the world. Their survival might depend upon eating saltine crackers.

To add to the confusion, the entire episode is inexplicably shot in black and white. What were the producers aiming for, metaphorical colorblindness? Actual colorblindness? The world may never know.

All in all, this is a webisode created with the underlying assumption that the audience can read minds and consisting entirely of jigsaw pieces that the viewer must piece together one by one to form a bleak picture of triumphant confusion.

The most genuine instance of relatability comes when a bewildered actor bursts into a room, demanding an explanation. “I need to know what’s going on!” he shouts in desperation.

So do we, man. So do we.

PSA: DoorDash Means You'll Never Leave Your Dorm Room Ever Again

As if you weren’t eating enough Felipe’s in the middle of the night.

DoorDash may have the potential to revolutionize your late-night snacking during reading period. Whether you’ve been working in Lamont for the past nine hours or Netflix is asking you if you’re still there, you deserve that burrito.

DoorDash is a service that employs people to deliver food to their clients from restaurants that don’t offer delivery services of their own. Imagine Uber, but instead of someone driving you home, they bring you food from your favorite nearby restaurant. A small selection of restaurants in Cambridge that are partnering with this beautiful venture: 9 Tastes Thai Cuisine, O Sushi, Le's Vietnamese, Pinocchio's Pizza, Felipe's Taqueria, and The Cheesecake Factory.

Between this and the end of “mandatory” section, you’ll probably never need to leave your house or dorm again. At least until reading period ends and you realize you never prepared for that final you promised yourself would save your grade from those not too impressive midterms.

Campus Café Showdown


Reading period is nearly upon us, and with it, the largest span of “unstructured” time since Opening Days and the birth of a new generation of Lamonsters.

But with great power comes great responsibility and we’re here to provide the information you need. If you’re wondering where to go for your daily cup of coffee (or, let’s be honest—your hourly caffeine dose by semester’s end), or if you’re just looking for a good place to make solid progress on papers and final projects, there’s no need to fear—Flyby is here for you, with a rundown of the four main options around the Yard. 

(All locations accept BoardPlus or Crimson Cash.)

Lamont Café

Location: Lamont Library (really?)

Hours: Monday-Thursday, 9 a.m. - 2 a.m., Friday, 9 a.m. - 8 p.m., Saturday, 3 p.m. - 8 p.m., Sunday 3 p.m. - 2 a.m.

Ah, Lamont Café. Tried and true, home to many a sleep-deprived student, an abundance of Chobani yogurts, and questionable sushi. Standard Starbucks fare here, so no surprises, and by far the best hours of all your options—in fact, it’s literally your only option of the four on the weekends and late nights (or rather early mornings). Sodas, Red Bull, and the usual vending machine fare can be found here in all its glory.

Great for studying, not so great for just a quick drink (have to pass those bag checks on your way out), a real meal, or for those who are driven nuts by the palpable pressure and anxiety of nearby Lamonsters. 

Arts Café at Baker

Location: Barker Center at 12 Quincy Street

Hours: Monday - Thursday, 9 a.m. - 8 p.m.; Friday 9 a.m. - 4 p.m.

Right in between Lamont and the Union dorms, the newly-opened Barker Center Rotunda Café boasts sandwiches, pastries, and salads from Hi-Rise Bakery and coffee from Culture Coffee. You’ll find a great, bohemian ambience with light music, high ceilings, leather couches, and more substantial food than Lamont—the menu includes quiche by the slice, bichermuesli, breakfast sandwiches, and salads. Certainly more pricey than some of the other options though—a single macaroon will run you $2.10, most cookies are $3.15, and salads go up to $10.75. (Note that Flyby reviewed the new establishment back in October, and found the quiche “passing.”)

Good place if you want to do some group work near the Yard, meet with English TFs and friends, or relax. Intensive studying, however, should probably be left to nearby Lamont. For those interested, the café also hosts a number of Art and Humanities-related events in the evenings throughout the semester.

Greenhouse Café

Location: Science Center

Hours: Monday - Thursday 7:30 a.m. - 8 p.m., Friday 7:30 a.m. - 7 p.m. (coffee cart only from 5 - 7 p.m.) 

The Greenhouse Café’s Starbucks coffee cart is always busy in the mornings. Later on in the day, of course, Greenhouse offers a wide range of lunch and dinner options, ranging from Indian food and fruit smoothies to burritos and pizza. Fantastic for a quick bite when you’re tired of Annenberg or too lazy to trek over to your House—you can be in and out in less than a minute for most options and the diverse range of food offerings is always reliable.

This place is ideal for hanging out after science and math courses, hosting office hours, working on group projects, or enjoying the sun outside (though certainly not at this time of year). Not really the best place to do intensive academic work, however—best try out nearby Cabot Library, unless you’re enjoy noise, distraction, and the sounds of people rushing to and from LS1a.

Café Gato Rojo

Location: Basement of Lehman Hall, southwest corner of the Yard

Hours: Monday - Thursday 8 a.m. - 10 p.m., Friday, 8 a.m. - 8 p.m.

Perhaps the least known (or rather least visible) of the four options, Café Gato offers a small, comfortable space and great prices—$1 coffee if you bring your own mug, and 50 cent refills. The student-run café (which also features student art on its walls) hosts Jazz Jam sessions every week, and Open Mic Nights every other week.

Fantastic if you want to meet up with somebody, enjoy some croissants, or do some light reading, but might not be optimal for work unless you have noise-canceling headphones or enjoy working to “Just a Friend” (Biz Markie) and “Sunshine” (Atmosphere).

Happy Reading Period!

Sorry kiddo, but just because you don't have classes doesn't mean you're free. Maybe you have a lot more time, but there is also a lot more stuff to do. The key to reading period is mapping out time. Making a schedule isn't the sexiest use of time, but it sure beats writing a paper worth half of your grade in one night because you didn't account for the fact that an eloquent sentence is difficult to produce hungover. 

Harvard Banishes CS50 TF to New Haven

It was bound to happen sooner or later. The day has come when even Yalies themselves admit that they want to to take Harvard courses, and Harvard is responding by loaning their best and brightest to charitably compensate for the lesser institution’s department.

Well, perhaps it’s not as dramatic as that.

It was recently announced that Harvard and Yale have each approved a joint-institution venture for Computer Science 50 to be taught on both campuses. Yale students will have the opportunity to take CS50 under Harvard’s instruction beginning Fall 2015 via livestream and recorded lessons on demand, as confirmed at the final 2014 CS50 lecture last week.

Of course, no announcement of any weight would be complete without the familiar and well-received antics of Sam Clark from “On Harvard Time” leading a tour of “actual Yalies” into gothic-architecture-free Sanders Theater. After explaining that Sanders would be the site of the livestreamed lectures for the new course, Clark and the Yalies posed for a humorous impromptu selfie with speaker David J. Malan ’99 before continuing on with the tour off stage.

Along with shared lectures, there will also be sections, office hours, and support staff at Yale to help students learn introductory computer science in tandem with Harvard, according to Malan. But perhaps the most noteworthy detail of this new joint venture between ivy universities is the new role of Harvard’s Jason C. Hirschhorn '15.

Hirschhorn will be sent to work full-time at Yale, working on the ground to establish the program and oversee the work of the other teaching assistants on Yale’s end.

While many people would (rightly) feel less than ecstatic about being assigned to live and work in New Haven, Hirschhorn described the effort as “an amazing opportunity to bring together students from two universities in an immersive and shared educational experience.”

Much as we love to display the (many) ways Yale cannot (and will never) match up to Harvard, you can’t begrudge the incredible opportunity at Hirschhorn’s disposal. After graduation, the enthusiastic Harvard senior will have not only a full-time job as an instructor, but also the chance to engage in work relevant to his thesis and interests

“I'm very much looking forward to helping form a community and culture among students in New Haven that meets (and maybe even exceeds) the exceptional one that already exists for students in Cambridge,” Hirschhorn said.

While Yale reaching Harvard’s standard of excellence is highly unlikely, you have to give him props for his good attitude.

Godspeed, Hirschhorn. We wish you well.

Sunrise in Lamont: Timestamped Observations of an All Nighter

Lamont’s 24-hour status means that knowledge is constantly being produced beneath its hallowed roof. I took the opportunity to imbibe 8 hours and 41 minutes of sweet wisdom. Below is a sampling of my observations from the illuminating night.

10:00 p.m.
I settle into Lamont Café. According to Google, the sun will rise at 6:41 a.m. In the intervening eight and a half hours, revelations are sure to come.

10:11 p.m.
A girl with thick-framed glasses that don’t look like they have an actual prescription exclaims “Kafka is my favorite!” excitedly. The learning begins.

10:53 p.m. 
“I love the fur, it’s real coyotes” says a girl extolling the virtues of Canada Goose coats.  

 11:31 p.m.
“The champagne is a farce. The mimosas are gonna be extremely strong. It’ll be blue raspberry vodka.” - Larista

11:30 p.m.
Someone comes in to conduct a psych experiment. It involves candy. I am not asked to participate.

11:58 p.m.
I decide that this video is immensely important.

12:04 a.m.
A man refers to the “Larista” as an American hero.

1:08 a.m.
“Why the fuck would I want to send money over Snapchat? Does it go away if I don’t use it in 10 seconds”

1:30 a.m.
It smells like stale cigarettes here.

1:40 a.m.
The Larista summarizes a Spongebob episode and fields trivia.

2:00 a.m.
The café has closed but the trivia continues. We are now on to Fairly Oddparents.

4:03 a.m.
Silence has descended on the café. A guy in a fedora who has been passed out for the past 3 hours has now shed his fedora in his never-ending quest for a comfortable sleeping position (for now he’s huddled in the fetal position in the chair)

4:30 a.m.
Completely new ideas for a paper that come after 4 a.m. are always good, right? Realizing the error of my previous ways, I walk briskly back to my dorm room to retrieve a necessary book.

4:36 a.m.
I get back from my dorm room. As I type fedora guy wakes up, dons his fedora and backpack, and leaves. I feel an immense sense of loss.   

5:54 a.m.
Work on my paper has long since stalled. I decide to take a stroll around the library that’s sure to be regenerative.

On my stroll I create an intricate, painstakingly crafted statistical analysis of who is asleep and who is awake.

Level B: 1 asleep, 1 awake
Level A: 0 asleep, 2 awake
Level 1: 3 asleep, 2 awake (excluding Larsen, and Lamont Café)
Level 2: 1 asleep, 2 awake
Level 3: 2 asleep, 1 awake
Total: 7 asleep, 8 awake

6:23 a.m.
The sun begins to rise. I can now make out Mem Church’s steeple quite clearly.

6:41 a.m.
The sun is up, the day has begun, and I write a witty, yet somehow beautiful and poetic ending to this piece. Then I go sleep till class.

Overheard at The Game 2014: Wizard’s Chess, Obama, and Yale Mooning Everyone

One thing I’ve learned here is that when people talk about “The Game,” they’re not necessarily referring to The Actual Game of American Football Between Harvard And Yale. Most of the time, “The Game” actually means tailgate antics, half-time pranks, and ridiculously hilarious signs.

Saturday, November 22 marked the 131st incarnation of The Harvard-Yale Game. This year in particular has been rife with practical jokes and Facebook wars, ranging from On Harvard Time’s newest “Harvard Pranks Yale” video and Yale’s uncomfortable video responses to the notorious Harvard-Yale mock debate during which current Yale student body president Michael Herbert made a surprise, visor-clad appearance.

Ultimately, Harvard reinstated tradition and won out against Yale with a final score of 31-24 (so close, Yale, so close), clinching both a H-Y victory and the Ivy League Champion title for the eighth consecutive time, which according to ESPN is the first time either school has won that many times since the 1880s.

Here are some overheard conversation highlights from The Game 2014, an afternoon of blue skies, freezing winds, and sweet, sweet, victory.

In response to Yale’s spontaneous stripping spectacle mid-way through the Game:
“The Yale kids are so done that they’d rather be naked than in Yale gear.”


(Shunella G. Lumas ’15)

Upon the Harvard University Band’s entrance onto the field:
“HEY YOU! YOU WITH THE CLARINET! THAT’S A NICE CLARINET YOU GOT THERE!”
“YOU PLAY THAT F---ING OBOE!”
They did.


(Melanie Y. F ’18)

“F--- STANFORD!”
“Hey!”
“What?
“That was my top school.”
Girl. Girl.

During the game, students discussed the relative dangers of football and other sports.
“You know what’s really intense? Ping pong.”
“No, no, full-contact chess.”
“No—wizard’s chess!”
I’m not sure if we want to know what full-contact chess is. But you know what they say about wizard’s chess.

New love seemed to blossom at the game.
“Obama?”
“Obama.”
Maybe “Obama” will be our “Always”.

The appearance of several large sticks with a certain face printed on them led an elderly alumnus to ask, with heightening panic:
“Who is the head guy? Who is he? Do you know?”
???


(Melanie Y. Fu ’18)

During the raucous post-victory field-storming:
“Oh my god, let’s take a picture!... Oh my god, I’m bleeding.”
Oh my god, are you okay.

Students were deep in thought as they walked out of the stadium in the rosy pink sunset.
“I wonder how it feels to be second all the time.”
What a thought.

The moral of the story:
“Now I know why everyone likes athletes… They’re so cool.”
Love you too, bro.

Until next time, Yale!

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