The blog of The Harvard Crimson

Flyby Matchmaker: Burritos, Bernie and Datamatch

Welcome back Flyby Matchmaker!

Alice Xiao ‘18 lives in Pforzheimer House and studies History, Art and Architecture. Ben Betik ‘17 lives in Quincy House and is studying Economics. Both Ben and Alice said that the three things they could not survive without are food, water and air. Ben originally said that living in the Quad would be a deal breaker. But was it? Read on to see if a long distance relationship was born over some Boloco burritos. We don't have a picture of our happy couple, so this date is going to remain blind to all of us.

Ben: Alice was there first, which was weird because, for the first time in my life, I was on time.

Alice: I think I got there at six exactly. It was raining.

Ben: There was a whole drama of my umbrella not closing… so everyone in the room turned and looked at me and I didn’t know which of [them] I should be talking to… Eventually everyone else turned away… and then Alice was standing there. I didn’t [recognize] her. That was [a] plus because it [meant it] was an actual blind date.

Alice: He looked nice.

Ben: I tend to try not to judge people on their looks or whatever… [but] I mean she’s cute so that helps.

Alice: [I got a burrito] and a smoothie too.

Ben: Burritos are great, but burritos may not be the best blind date choice… there is no graceful way to eat a burrito… I should have gone for the bowl; would have been a much better call.

Alice: [Initially] we talked about basic stuff like class, concentration what you do on campus and I found out that he did a lot of model UN, which was cool because I do international relations stuff on campus too.

Ben: It took a while to get into conversation. [With] some people it’s easy, you walk into the energy and you know you have the chemistry.

Alice: The beginning was a little bit awkward. The getting to know you part in general… [but] I wouldn’t say that it was that difficult [to find things to talk about]. He was a pleasant person…

Ben: There are the four things you aren’t supposed to talk about on first dates… politics, religion, abortion, [and] economics. So we talked about politics… that was something really interesting. She’s a Hillary supporter. I’m kind of on the fence between Hillary and Bernie so we just had a really engaging conversation about politics. Everyone can bond over how awful of a person Donald Trump is so that really brought us together.

Alice: [Politics] were a good part of our conversation because I told him honestly how I felt about it... It wasn’t like we were trying to impress someone.

Ben: I wouldn’t say Alice and I had instant chemistry…[but] I’d be interested in hanging out with [her] again. In fact, I did invite her to a dinner party thing.

Alice: He invited me [to a biweekly dinner his roommates put on] and I thought it seemed like a fun idea. I’m going on Friday.

Given Datamatch was in full swing just weeks before that the two met, we had to ask about our competition:

Ben: Yes, I did [Datamatch]. I was seven people’s top match so apparently I’m really mathematically popular… I’m just getting all kinds of free food. It’s amazing. I think I’ve eaten in a dhall twice this week and haven’t had to pay at all.

Alice: I did Datamatch too. I actually had a Datamatch date this morning. [But] I would recommend actually being set up on a blind date, like going with Flyby, because it’s more exciting to not know [who your date will be]… it’s more spontaneous; it’s more… exciting... I don’t see why more people aren’t doing it.

Ben: I would [recommend this] to my best friends and my worst enemies… What I’ve learned from this is that blind dates are really weird and they are weird for everyone. So if you’re having a weird time don’t worry the other person is having just as weird a time… I’d be down to do another blind date just because I think it’s fun and kind of funny after the fact.

Want to take Alice’s advice? Find out just how weird and fun blind dates really are? Fill out this form!


The Flyby Matchmaker

Dear Spring: It’s a Quarter Into 2016, I’m a Little Pale, and I Need You Now

That’s right, Boston got you again. After a few days of spring weather last week, I think we all expected that the little frost emoji on the weather forecast for Sunday was a joke. I guess the bipolar nature of New England weather can never be underestimated.

It all started with the slow descent to murkiness on Saturday, and by the wind storm on Sunday morning, we all knew that it was over. I hadn’t expected it to snow like it’s December this morning though.

Actually, after three years at a high school in Connecticut, I should be used to the phenomenon known as The-Warmth-That-Never-Comes, the perpetual overcast sky that prolongs from February to May, but I guess it’s clear that I didn’t come out of the dormitory often enough to really understand the struggle.

In fact, I had stored away all my winter clothes and shoes until this morning, when I realized that the temperature had dropped into the minuses (yes, I use Celsius). Slowly pulling open the curtains, and discovering the winter wonderland that had returned, I pulled out my boots from a box under my bed, nearly in tears.

This is exaggeration, of course. The weather isn’t too bad. And I’m sure that spring will come. Next year. But upon experiencing the sun for the first time since October last week, I’d realized that I’d been feeling under the weather. Soaking in the vitamin D and clear blue sky, I felt happiness and motivation to be kinder to others. I did all my readings, I went to the gym, I even introduced myself to a stranger in Annenberg—this was who my mom had raised me to be.

My epiphany has since then disappeared with the sunlight, and I am back to the cliché freshman year identity crisis. What is my next life goal? Have I always been this lazy? Should I go to class or drown in my miseries looking at jean shorts on online shopping sites?

As we wait for the spring that will never come until summer in June, take some vitamin D, guys. It probably doesn’t do anything, but I find that if you convince yourself that it does, it has a slight placebo effect.

Why Not Having Summer Plans Isn't a Big Deal

It’s that time of year again! When you sit down for lunch at the dining hall and all conversations inarguably lead to one daunting question: “So, what are you doing this summer?” Your heart skips a beat and your cheeks turn colored as you stammer to explain why you’re still as lost in the internship search as you were in August.

But, hey, no summer plans yet? Worry not! You are at Harvard for God’s sake! With your impressive academic achievements and surely, extensive extracurricular activities, your resume can manage without a summer internship. After a grueling exam period and demanding semester, there’s honestly no better way to spend the summer than doing absolutely nothing. Trust us, this might be the best thing to happen to you yet!

While all your friends will be pounding through tedious office work day after day, waking up at 7:00 am on the dot, and commuting on the stinky subway, you’ll be living the life: drinking piña coladas poolside, sleeping until noon, and binge watching Netflix! Every overambitious Harvard student’s dream.

Take this well-deserved break to do everything you love (but can’t do during school time because, well, Harvard): actually read for fun, exercise, eat delicious homemade food.

Better yet, try something new: learn to play that instrument you never mastered, take painting lessons, join a sports team, convince yourself that you have talent outside of the classroom. You might even end up writing a book in all that spare time or getting a head start on your thesis!

Use your summer to rekindle old friendships: hang around with your childhood friends, visit your high school teachers (who obviously love you), spend more time with family. Take advantage of these three long months to travel: explore your hometown's hidden gems, take that wild trip you’ve always dreamed of, hike the Grand Canyon.

And if you’re still fixed on working this summer, worry not! There’s still 60 days for you to find the job of your dreams and plenty of opportunities just sitting there on Crimson Careers. Perhaps even consider going to one of the million OCS seminars that crowds your inbox every day...

Flyby Celebrates the Last Four Weeks of School

18 days of classes. 31 days left to prep for finals. Less than 41 days before you’re out of here. And while summer is nearly here and you cannot wait to start summer school and internships, there are still a few things (good and bad) that need to be done before all the fun can begin.

First off, if you have not already, finish using all of your BoardPlus. Start buying a Naked juice when you pass by Greenhouse or blow off HUDS and get sushi for lunch more often. Buy your Starbucks drink at Greenhouse or Lamont Cafe instead of Starbucks in the square. Spread out your usage and enjoy it instead of buying 20 granola bars on the last day of the semester and binge-eating them on the plane ride home. You’re living life large, and it’s time to treat yourself.

Secondly, start eating up all of the snacks in your desk drawer (the large tub of Nutella on my shelf gives me an irrational amount of anxiety). Mom’s care packages are not going into storage or back home with you, so now is a good time to start clearing house. Start bringing them to class or your next meeting. Or plan a night in with friends and swap snacks over a viewing of My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Lastly, start catching up on the textbook readings that you put off over the course of the semester because you figured you would get to it eventually. Finals are going to catch you off-guard so it if you get this out of the way you can have a more chill reading period. We know, we know, this is probably not ever going to happen, but we figured we’d be a good parent to you and let you know that this last month also means that big exams are quickly approaching. Another pro-tip: start participating in section so that your TF remembers you as an active discussion contributor instead of the person who online shops for the whole class period.

Follow these few tips and the rest of the semester will go almost as smoothly as your summer job search. Oh wait...

Biebs Mashups, Free Cookies, and More Overpriced T-Shirts: The Opening of the Newest Harvard Shop

In all honesty, I don’t know why we need another Harvard Shop. This marks the fourth of this same store within 2 blocks of each other. I know tourists love to collect gear, but are there really that many of them willing to buy overpriced t-shirts emblazoned with the name of this fine institution? OK, yes, maybe there are… but with all the other tourist trap apparel shops around, the market seems oversaturated, and supply must be so much higher than demand*.

Despite my reservations about the opening of yet another Harvard Shop, I am never one to turn down offers of free food and thus woke up at the absurdly early hour of 11:30am on a beautiful Saturday to let them peddle their wares to me.

By the time I got to The Harvard Shop, it was packed full of students with the same thought process. The Lowkeys performed a fun mashup of Justin Bieber songs, and I got free cookies (and coupons for more free cookies). I think I missed a whole collection of coupons for other restaurants in the square, but I mostly only eat cookies for every meal, so that wasn’t a huge concern.

To my surprise, HSA’s grand opening was a really fun event and an example of what Harvard should be doing for inclusive social spaces (UC, take notes). Any party that has cookies and Biebs mashups is the kind of party I want to be at. I can’t imagine that I will be returning to the newest Harvard Shop to spend my own money, but I am not opposed in any way to eating their free food or enjoying the fun of a grand opening.

*Does using the few economics terms I remember from Ec10 make this a legitimate criticism? Maybe. Am I going to continue to use words from the natural and social sciences to sound like I understand anything other than literature? Definitely.

Lampoon's Balloon Prank Doesn't Take Off

This Saturday, just after 7 p.m., members of a certain a semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine made a feeble, short-lived attempt at humor. Earlier today, Lampoon staffers sent emails over club and House lists announcing that the Crimson president’s chair would “depart on its eternal journey into Space.” This was to be the latest in a long history of pranks between the two organizations, including most recently the Lampoon’s duping of Donald Trump.

How many 'Poonsters does it take to hold a balloon?

Ever-fascinated by new advances in space exploration, we at Flyby braved the cold with high hopes of seeing new breakthroughs in chair-launching technology—or at least, a mildly amusing prank. Unfortunately, we were met with neither.

Arriving at the Lampoon’s castle at 6:45 sharp, per the email’s instructions, we joined a crowd of fellow Crimson writers. Even Crimson president Mariel A. Klein ’17 was present, decked out in purple and yellow—the Lampoon’s colors—in anticipation of the big event.

Unfortunately, except for the Crimson squad, turnout appeared to be quite low. The small crowd huddled between Mt. Auburn and Bow Street didn’t appear to be much larger than the membership of the Lampoon. (Perhaps there will be a larger turnout at the Lampoon’s “Farewell Chair” open party tonight at 11 p.m., when people can drink until the Lampoon actually seems funny...)

After about 10 cold minutes, a few dressed-up Lampoon members came forward and began to inflate a large white balloon. We pulled out our phones to begin frantically live-tweeting, only to realize that we would be forced to wait another 10 minutes or so for the actual prank to begin while the ’Poonsters struggled to tie the balloon to a poor imitation of the Crimson’s chair.

After much fanfare and anticipation (and with the balloon finally secured to the chair), the Lampoon set the chair free, watching as it drifted toward space.

Just kidding—the balloon, like the ’Poonsters' future careers in comedy, failed to launch. Only after a member picked up the "chair" and threw it, narrowly missing a car and breaking the chair in half, did the balloon finally escape toward a better place.

All in all, we weren’t surprised that the Lampoon’s prank was a waste of time and not funny, though we do hope they’ll step up their game for the next round of pranks, to prove that they aren’t just full of hot air.

Flyby's Guide to April Fools' Day

It seems like spring is finally here in Cambridge, with the flowers blossoming and the air smelling like poop again. As offended as your nostrils are, however, here’s something to brighten your day: it’s April Fools’ Day! Struggling to come up with a legendary prank? Don’t worry. Flyby has some suggestions for you:

For your blockmates/suitemates:
Water trap:
Here’s a chance to get rid of all those red solo cups you bought at the beginning of the year. Fill them up with water. While your blockmates are sleeping, cover their entire floor/common room with these cups of water so that they are trapped on their beds. Stepping on any of these cups would result in a domino effect and eventual deluge. Good luck.

Lock in:
Get some sturdy string or wire. If you live in a suite with multiple doubles/singles, tie the doorknobs of two bedrooms together, so that they can’t open the door from inside. Get them to promise you ten El Jefe’s burritos before letting them out.

New Hair-do:
Get some cheap (temporary) hair dye from CVS. Mix it in with your blockmate’s shampoo. Make sure to snapchat their reaction. You might even get on the Ivy snap story for once.

For your roommates:
A night under the stars:
This one is perfect for those of you with roommates who sleep like the dead. With the help of your suitemates, carry your roommate's bed, upon which your roommate should still be fast asleep, outside. Drop them off in the middle of the yard or Quad lawn (I got you, Quadlings). Your roommate will probably wake up to the amused murmurs and camera flashes of confused tourists. A sure way to not only make it onto the Ivy snap story, but also most likely the front page of the Crimson!

Redefining “on fleek”:
Another trick for those of you with roommates who are very heavy sleepers. While your roommate is sound asleep, shave off one eyebrow. Can be done easily with a little bit of shaving cream and eyebrow razor, conveniently sold at a CVS near you. Be prepared with a back-up rooming group though... this one may leave you alienated just days before the Housing Lottery.

The Missing Turkey:
Find the avian celebrity, the Harvard Turkey. Find the turkey a friend (she/he/it must get lonely roaming around the streets of Harvard all alone). Label the original turkey with a #1 tag. Label the second turkey with a #3 tag. Yes, you read that correctly. Not #2, but #3. Where is the #2 turkey you ask? The world may never know.

For Pre-Frosh:
Yale sucks 1.0:
Conveniently, regular decisions for most colleges are being released right about now. This is a challenge for you genius coders out there: figure out how to get on the Class of 2020 listserv, and send them an email assigning them a 20 page research paper on how much Yale sucks. Then start a chain of Reply-Alls saying "please take me off this list."

Yale sucks 2.0:
If the challenge above is too easy for you, here’s the hacker version: hack Yale’s admission page to display a huge sign that says: “It’s not too late, Class of 2020! Transfer to our better half: Harvard!” Which would link to Harvard’s admission page. (Though, of course, Flyby doesn’t endorse illegal hacking.) We’d be pranking the Yalies even before they get to New Haven. Who knows? Maybe the lucky few that got accepted to both schools will choose Harvard over Yale. (But let’s be real. Who wouldn’t?)

For the Lampoon, the semi-secret Sorrento Square social organization that used to occasionally publish a so-called humor magazine?:
Looks like Conan's got this one covered ;).

We hope these are enough to get your creative juices flowing. Happy pranking!

HUPD Crime Log 3/23-3/30

March 23, 2016
Officer dispatched to a report of two stolen bottles of wine. Officer arrived and spoke to the reporting party who stated they were not sure if they were taken and will call tomorrow if bottles were not found.
Just FYI, there is a difference between “stolen” and “finished”

March 24, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of stolen laundry valued at $895.00.
“I love your shirt! Where is it from?” “Dryer B4—they have the cutest clothes there!”

March 24, 2016
Officers dispatched to a report of a suspicious box in the area. Officers arrived and report just an empty cardboard box.
Shocked no one snatched it up to use on Moveout Day.

March 25, 2016
Officers dispatched to a report of a suspicious backpack left in the area. Officers arrived and report bag was filled with gym clothes and left with security.
It probably still smelled suspicious—remember kids, always use deodorant!

March 26, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of a stolen package containing Costume jewelry valued at $20.00.
There goes my Halloween Costume.

March 27, 2016
Officer dispatched to a report of the smell of smoke coming from the building. Officer arrived and immediately confirmed odor of something burning but could not detect where odor was originating from. Harvard fire mechanic was notified and arrived on scene and determined smell was coming from smoldering mulch.
“Mulch is basically incense, right?”

March 28, 2016
Officers dispatched to a report of loud noise. Officers arrived and advised individual to keep noise level down.
“Don’t worry Officer, my roommate is always like this when she has a Pset due”

March 29, 2016
Officer dispatched to a report of an armed robbery in progress. Officer arrived and report no armed robbery just students filming a robbery for a student film.
Sometimes life just imitates art.

March 29, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of stolen black handlebars from a bicycle.
“I can ride my bike with no handlebars, no handlebars, no handlebars…”

March 30, 2016
Officers dispatched to a report of an individual in the building who may not have authorization to be there. Officers arrived and report individual was allowed to be in the building.
“For the last time, I’m not a tourist! I'm just trying to up my Instagram game!”

Check back next Friday for our next installment of HUPD Crime Log!

Flyby Horoscopes: April

Flyby exec and amateur astrologist Kyle E. O’Hara counts many things among her talents—her impressive ability to drink Diet Coke before 10 a.m., her dogged pursuit of the position of El Jefe’s #1 customer, and her remarkable skill at napping at inopportune times. But most prominent of these talents is her questionable-at-best ESP. Check back on the first of each month for your Flyby Horoscope, courtesy of Kyle.

AQUARIUS: That work-life balance, Aquarius. You’ve finally mastered the skill of getting your work done while still enjoying your life. That means April is going to be a great month. Please, teach me your ways.

PISCES: I’m impressed. This month holds lots of athletic success for you. You’re going to go to the gym more than once. You’re improving your life so productively. This is the start of a new phase of your life where you consistently exercise and eat well.

ARIES: Aries, I have good news. This month holds lots of full nights’ rests and naps! Without any all-nighters. Your time management skills are really going to come in handy.

TAURUS: Is there a budding relationship in your life? According to my ample knowledge of the future, this month is going to be great for developing whatever this may be.

GEMINI: April means upcoming financial windfalls for you, Gemini. You may find a lucrative summer job, you may “come into some money,” but however it happens, this is going to be wonderful.

CANCER: Classes are generally tough, Cancer, but this month is going to go well and you’re going to do really great in even the hardest ones. You’re killin’ the game this semester.

LEO: That new project you’ve been worried about is going to come together perfectly this month, Leo. All the effort you’ve put in has been totally worth it, and the final result is going to be dazzling.

VIRGO: A new job? A salary plus housing? Something that will look good on your resume? All that and more will be yours, Virgo.

LIBRA: Hey, Libra. Venus is in retrograde this month*, so your love life is about to be amazing. Cuffing season may be ending, but you, for one, won’t be single. Congrats on breaking the Harvard stereotype of being sad and single in the library.

SCORPIO: The last few weeks have been hectic, Scorpio, but things are calming down. Take advantage of your free time to pursue something you truly care about (which we know isn’t your degree in economics).

SAGITTARIUS: Sagittarius, you’re on a roll. Now is the time to commit to a new project (a startup, perhaps?). It’s gonna be a great success.

CAPRICORN: You’re one of the lucky ones. Your classwork is related to a subject you care about, and you have job prospects lining up in a field you want to break into. Everything’s coming up roses, Capricorn.

Sound too good to be true? It is! There’s no way things would be this put together at this point in the semester. Happy April Fool’s day, Harvard. See you next month ;)

*what does retrograde mean? I am an expert at many things, but alas, none of them are astrology-based talents.

From the Archives: Mumps

“In the wake of the present Mumps epidemic, a disease prevalent among children, of 21 cases, 17 Yardlings have been confined to bed, it was learned from Dr. Arlie V. Bock Henry K. Oliver Professor of Hygiene, yesterday.”

At first glance, you too may have assumed that this was just another update from Paul J. Barreira, MD, Director of Harvard University Health Services. Then, you probably noticed the term “Yardling,” wondered why we don’t still use it, realized there were no tips for practicing good hygiene, and then noticed that Dr. Arlie V. Bock was mentioned, instead of our boy Paul J. Barreira, MD.

Apparently Harvard University Health Services is no stranger to mumps epidemics. In fact this 1937 Crimson article, titled “University’s Private Mump Epidemic Reported On Wane,” (which could easily be mistaken for another one of Paul J. Barreira, MD’s email subject lines), almost mirrors the mumps catastrophe that has unfolded on Harvard’s campus this past month.

We’ve uncovered the similarities and differences between the 1937 mumps epidemic that hit Harvard and the 2016 outbreak of mumps on Harvard’s campus right now, based on reports from Crimson articles past and present and Paul J. Barreira, MD’s infamous email chains about the current outbreak. How much has HUHS really learned on how to deal with mumps in the last 79 years? We’ll leave you to be the judge...


“In addition, anyone who has previously had Mumps is almost immune from a reoccurrence of the disease.”
2016 (2/29/16 Email from
“Individuals who have previously had mumps are considered immune to the virus.”

It’s reassuring how much knowledge we’ve acquired about mumps over the last 79 years.

“In a separate building at Stillman Infirmary, 19 of the swollen-checked students are isolated from the rest of the patients, filling the entire top floor, and several beds on the next story, while two men have been removed to their homes. According to Professor Bock, none of the cases has developed complications.”
“The Cambridge Public Health Department mandates that students infected with mumps be quarantined in a single room with an individual bathroom for five days. Since most dorm rooms share a bathroom, students are housed elsewhere on campus, according to Barreira.”

At least in 1937 the University was transparent about where the swollen-cheeked students were being quarantined.


“Although the State as a whole reported only 174 cases of Mumps for the past week in comparison with 576 for the same period last year, University Hygiene department reported only six cases of Mumps during the entire school year of 1936-37 while the present epidemic has included 21 students.”
“There have been 30 total cases of mumps in Massachusetts since January 1, according to state officials.”

Keep in mind, there was no such thing as a mumps vaccination until the late 1960s...

“In the wake of the present Mumps epidemic, a disease prevalent among children…”
2016 (2/29/16 Email from
“Mumps is a systemic viral illness characterized by swelling of one or more salivary glands. Symptoms may first present as an ear ache or jaw pain, and other non-specific symptoms including fever, muscle aches, and fatigue may also occur. The mumps virus is transmitted by respiratory droplets and by direct contact with nasopharyngeal secretions. Treatment is focused on relief of symptoms such as fever and pain from facial swelling.”

On second thought, thankfully our knowledge of mumps has significantly improved from “disease prevalent among children” to Paul J. Barreira’s short essay describing a “systemic viral illness...transmitted by respiratory droplets and by direct contact with nasopharyngeal secretions...” Whatever that means.

Au Revoir to Au Bon Pain

Bye Bye Au Bon Pain
A sign in the window of Au Bon Pain, signifies the end of its reign in Harvard Square

When Yenching shut down, we shed a couple of tears. When Panera closed suddenly, it felt like we lost a very close friend. But now that Au Bon Pain is closing down, I think we have gone numb.

Yes, Au Bon Pain is leaving the Square like many of our other beloved restaurants and establishments. It was to be expected due to the renovation of the Smith Campus Center, but it just happened so fast. It was just yesterday (not actually) that they were giving away free coffee, which is great when you tire of the standard dining hall fare.

It is even weirder when you realize that it has been in the Square for 32 years. You know how old 32 years is? This is before Radcliffe College fully integrated with Harvard University. The Olympics were held in Los Angeles and Ronald Reagan was president. And now, it will be gone.

If one really can't live with it, technically there is one located near Zinneken’s and another near the Charles. But neither are as easily accessible as the Harvard Square one and they close earlier than the 1 am time for which the Square establishment is known. It seems like all the national fast food cafés are disappearing. All of them.

You still have time to say your final farewell. The last day you can get a sandwich there is on March 31st. That might give you enough time to prepare to have Starbucks as our coffee/cafe overlords.

But on the bright side, they say death come in threes so we shouldn’t hear any more news of closing Square restaurants... oh wait...

A Guide To Making the Most of Your Extra Hour of Daylight

Spring has sprung, and the sun is here to play
Spring has sprung, and the sun is here to play

About two weeks ago, the clocks magically jumped forward an hour, and we all lost an hour of our spring break. Unless you’re so sleep deprived that you’re always tired and didn’t realize you’d missed out on that sacred 60 minutes, you probably feel like you get ripped off annually when we “spring forward.” But here’s the good news: You now have one extra hour of daylight at the end of your day, meaning it's no longer pitch black out at 5 p.m. when your classes end. Here are some awesome things you can do with that hour:

Go for a run outside
As it gets warmer, you’ll be able to run outside instead of having to do the frigidly awkward sprint to the MAC in your shorts. And now, thanks to Daylight Savings, you can be assured that there will be light outside during your run so you don’t have to worry as much about suspicious characters. Alternatively, if you’re like us, and the only time you ever run is when the doors to the dining hall are about to close, you can take the extra daylight to exercise by walking briskly with a pair of shake weights to JP Licks.

Update your look
An extra hour of daylight = an extra hour of sunlight. Make sunglasses a staple to your wardrobe. Pro tip: Even if you’re not going to wear the sunglasses over your eyes, they can look nice on top of your head, and it’s much more acceptable to do that when the sun is actually shining so you don’t look like you just woke up with the world’s biggest hangover.

Get your cameras out
The sunlight as the sun sets can be the perfect #SelfieLighting. Take advantage of this while you can. If you’re friendless, consider this selfie stick disguised as a hand to make it look like you’re not a complete loser. If you do happen to have friends, gather them together and take pictures outside. After all, if you don’t have photographic evidence, your future kids may not believe you actually talked to people in college let alone had friends at any point in your life.

Rediscover what your acquaintances look like
For many dark, cold months now, you’ve been looking at your friends in harsh indoor lighting. Either that or you haven’t really ever left your room and you just interact with your friends through emojis. Take this opportunity to reacquaint yourself with these people. Maybe even *gasp* venture to the Quad to see that freshman year buddy you excommunicated after the cold rushed in during the fall. Make sure you can still handle the sight of your blockmates’ faces in the light, especially as you navigate planning your living arrangements for next year. While these things may not have seemed important in the winter, spring is coming.

ICYMI: Silent Disco Review

On Saturday night the College Events Board partnered with the First Year Social Committee to throw a school-wide silent disco party. In case you're living under a rock and aren't familiar with the concept of a silent disco, it's an event where everyone is given headphones and jams out to the same music. It basically has all the perks of being at a dance party without risking getting noise complaints from the neighbors.

We here at Flyby couldn't pass up on the opportunity to attend our very own silent disco at Harvard. Upon arrival, event coordinators greeted attendees with Bluetooth headphones that allowed everyone to tune into two separate DJs. Descending into the depths of the Northwest Labs, Flyby found a one-of-a-kind experience to review:

Fantastic. The green DJ covered your average basic white girl music featuring Taylor Swift and Miley Cyrus, while the red DJ was spinning dope tunes like Fetty and the Weeknd. Looking around in the sea of headphones, it was clear that everyone was enjoying the beats. A+ CEB, I’ll give you this one.

Where art thou? Flyby was under the impression that there would be food at the event. However, after extensive rummaging, none could be found. We’ll give organizers the benefit of the doubt by assuming that everything had already run out. But, take note – college kids on a Saturday night are some of the hungriest creatures you will find. So if you promise food, it's best to deliver.

One of a kind. When walking in, guests were greeted by a throng of people dancing in silence. Adding to the vibe were cool glow sticks and rings that flashed different colors. Overall a very trippy, but cool experience.

Average. Northwest Labs is a huge space to fill and although a good number of people showed up, the dance floor wasn’t jam packed. People actually preferred this, however, because 1) you didn’t have to wait for hours outside the door (flashback to first chance dance) and 2) there is nothing worse than being squished by hundreds of sweaty bodies (#mumps?)

Success! Thank you to the CEB and FYSC for planning a sweet event open to everyone at Harvard. We cannot wait to see what is in store for Yardfest!

HUPD Crime Log 3/2-3/22

March 4, 2016
Officers dispatched to a report of loud music being played in the area. Officer arrived, and report no music being played, just lacrosse team practicing.
“Phew, that was close. TURN THE MUSIC BACK UP!”

March 6, 2016
Officer dispatched to a report of loud noise coming from the area. Officer arrived, and report asbestos work being done in the building. All necessary paper work was presented to the officer which allowed the company to perform the required work.
Glad to see Winthrop construction is starting early. #AsBESThouse

March 7, 2016
Officers dispatched to a report of an individual acting suspicious around the bicycle rack. Officers arrived and report individual gone on arrival.
The bicycle rack is the new hip hangout spot. All the cool kids are doing it!

March 9, 2016
Officer dispatched to a report of two individuals climbing on the statue. Officer arrived and advised individuals to not climb on the statue.
John Harvard’s foot lives to see another day.

March 10, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of a stolen black Sony video camera valued at $3,000.00.
Sony video camera: $3,000.00. Getting caught by HUPD: the Ad Board. HD Housing Day video: priceless.

March 10, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of two stolen packages containing ten ponchos valued at $10.00 and 40 packets of Gatorade valued at $25.00.
The theme of the party was “Sporty Bohemian”

March 14, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of a stolen pair of blue New Balance sneakers valued at $69.00 and black Beats speakers valued at $299.00.
There goes my Get Swole starter pack.

March 16, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of a stolen package containing a text book valued at $31.89.
For only $31.89, are you sure you didn’t get half a textbook?

March 18, 2016
Officers dispatched to a report of an unwanted guest sleeping in the stairwell. Officers arrived, located individual and sent them on their way.
Sometimes you just get tired halfway up the stairs.

March 21, 2016
Officer took a report of suspicious Facebook message an individual received.
“They promised me a free iPad!”

March 22, 2016
Officers dispatched to a report of two individuals throwing items at people and cars. Officers arrived and report individuals gone on arrival.
Just practicing for baseball season.

March 22, 2016
Officer dispatched to take a report of fraud.
“I could’ve sworn my friend wasn’t imaginary”

Check back next Friday for our next installment of HUPD Crime Log!

How to Make the Most of Yardfest

With Yardfest only a month away, the rumor mill has been churning out potential artists almost as fast as the mumps spread from the PSK to the rest of the campus. While it seems like we won’t be saying “hey what’s up hello” to Fetty Wap after all, there is one possible headliner who could be just as “damn fine, tho”.

A little bird (or maybe it was the Mather turkey) told us that Steve Aoki will be the latest artist to join the likes of Jessie J and Tyga as Yardfest headliner. Don’t know who that is? Still bitter that it won’t be Fetty? Well fear not, Flyby has compiled a list of pro tips on how to have a bangin’ time regardless if you’re a die hard Aoki fan or if you’re just as indifferent about him as you are about Yenching leaving the Square.

Who says tailgates are just for sports? Skip your boozy Sunday brunch plans and participate in the pre-Yardfest tradition of party hopping all down Mt. Auburn Street. Just make sure to remember your face mask before entering the PSK.

Don’t forget that half the fun of Yardfest is the buffet style barbeque feast. Bonus points if you can find the truck of ice cream sandwiches to satisfy your mid-day munchies.

See if you can get close enough to the stage to use a Snapchat face filter on Steve Aoki’s face. If not, Snap Story your heart away so you can relive all your regrets while recovering from your wild night in your Monday morning lecture, because yes, to all who weren’t aware, Yardfest is in fact on a Sunday this year.

People watch
Play “I Spy: 9am-er Edition”. Challenge your squad to see who can spot the most students awkwardly standing around looking confused (or envious) about everyone being so turnt.

Steal the show
Teach yourself how to DJ and then learn every single Steve Aoki track so you can jump on stage and perform with him. Or in the event that all the rumors are false, replace whoever the actual artist is with the Steve Aoki favorites that everyone now has their heart set on. HUPD will be too preoccupied checking IDs and attempting to keep out wandering tourists to notice. Trust us.

Still uncertain whether or not you’ll have a good time? Well, don’t forget that Steve Aoki is the dude that basically provided the soundtrack for Project X. If anyone can breath some life into our comatose social scene, it’s him. So, start blasting “Boneless” to annoy all your neighbors who think studying is more important than Yardfest and get pumped for April 24th a.k.a. Harvard’s’ attempt to trick pre-frosh into thinking we can actually have fun!

Tips from Yale

Remember last year when we gloated over the fact that Yale copied Harvard by adopting CS50, our notorious introductory computer science class with record breaking enrollment numbers of over 800 students? Well, the saying “what goes around comes around” must exist for a reason, since recently some administrators at Harvard have been looking up to Yale to improve its social scene.

This year, the administration’s mission seem to be want to create inclusive, open, and safe social spaces on campus. Eli Schachar, a Lowell Resident tutor, has a few suggestions for how the College can work towards this goal. And, he happens to be a Yalie. Here are some of his suggestions:

A Harvard version of Toad’s
Toad’s, the notorious nightclub in New Haven, has its mixed reviews with its sketchy townies and sticky floors (but let’s be real; final club floors are sticky too). But we have to admit their party was lit during Harvard Yale weekend. It would be cool to have a Harvard version as well. Perhaps the club above Kong is a possibility. Chinese food and an open party space? Sounds like heaven to me.

More in-suite common rooms
The recent house renovations in Quincy, Dunster and Leverett have received criticism for the replacement of in-suite common rooms for hallway common rooms. In suite common rooms might very well be the inclusive social space so many students are pining for, something the administration should keep in mind with the renovations for Winthrop and Lowell coming up.

Freshmen live with upperclassmen in Houses
Yale is known for their residential college system, which are kind of like Harvard’s houses, except with freshmen. Instead of being sorted on housing day, Yale freshmen are sorted into their residential colleges before they even step on campus. This could have its pros and cons as we would lose Housing Day, a beautiful Harvard tradition. Plus, who will live in the yard dorms? Will freshmen live in the Quad as well? How many freshmen will get lost on their way to class? There are too many unanswered questions here.

Undergrad RA’s instead of resident tutors
Like many other colleges, Yale has undergrad RA’s or resident assistants instead of proctors and tutors. So instead of an angry and sleep-deprived grad student shutting your party down, it might be an even more sleep-deprived fellow Harvard student. This modification would really change the social dynamic. Some interesting possibilities here.

Perhaps a change is in need, despite the fact that the inspiration came from an icky place called New Haven. But some of these suggestions would change some of the fundamental traditions and nature of Harvard. It will be up to the administration as well as the voice of the students to decide what kind of Harvard we want to become.

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