The blog of The Harvard Crimson

How To

How To: Last Minute Spring Break

Here you are, just a day before spring break with no plans. All of your blockmates are going to Florida, but you never bought your ticket because you have a fear of purchasing airline tickets (who knows if the site is going to crash???). You could stay on campus and finally catch up on all that reading you missed, but no. You can’t do that. So here are some cheap, last minute options for spring break!

How To: River Run (from the Police)

River Run. It’s a tradition as old as Harvard itself (give or take 360 years) where freshmen take shots at every upperclassmen house the Housing Day eve. Other than ritual slaughter, it is the only way to appease the Housing Gods and guarantee good housing and a plentiful harvest in the Lowell Community Garden.

Make a Last Minute Sexy Halloween Costume

Want to look good this Halloween but just realized you gained too much weight to go as a sexy cat again? Or maybe you just found out that the Garment District isn’t actually an entire district, and have been too embarrassed to go ever since? Or is it that you realized that the life-sized Furby costume that you’ve been planning isn’t as original as you thought? If you’ve answered yes to one or all of these questions, then you could use a last minute sexy Halloween costume. You could also use a refresher in high school rhetoric. The questions were rhetorical.

Run the Boston Half Marathon

You don’t think you can run a marathon? Then how about a half marathon? There is a saying that goes “If you can do the math, then you can run Boston's Half Marathon on Sunday.” It’s not a well known saying, I made it up. But here are a few steps you can take so that you can run the race, even if you haven’t done any training whatsoever.

Take an Intro Class as an Upperclassman

There’s nothing worse than walking into an Ec 10 lecture as a junior, except for maybe the declining elephant population—but let’s be honest, it’s kind of a toss-up. Yet for some reason, despite the fact that we are old enough to know better, and that all of our peers have already taken the classes, we find ourselves taking freshman intro classes as upperclassmen. It’s pretty embarrassing, so here are some tips for maintaining your reputation.

Get Punched

Punch season is upon us. From my extensive experience (La Vie accidentally gave me an invitation addressed to another girl once) I am more than qualified to advise sophomores looking to get into a final club. So here are some tips.

Put Up With Your Noisy Neighbor

It's 1 a.m. and you're trying to sleep, but the kids next door are being loud and rambunctious. You can't tell them to quiet down, because you want to look fun-loving, but you also cannot put up with it, because you are, in fact, not fun-loving. So here are some tips to help you deal with the noise in an effective manner that will not ruin your reputation as someone who enjoys deafening noises and doesn't need to sleep—because somehow vampires and insomniacs are still trendy.

Crash a Formal

It's not hard sneaking into a formal—all you have to do is draw some X's on your hands and say you're with the band. It's once you're inside that things get difficult. Do your salmon shorts count as formal? And when they play Journey, do you pretend like you're over it or preform the dance you memorized from the first season of "Glee?" There is no easy answer to these questions; they're rhetorical. What's more, formals are not easy; they are an awkward mix of 90's hits and oversized camping tents. But they can be fun, and luckily I have some tips for correctly crashing a formal.

Lulu to Your Liking

It's more than just a repeated consonant sound or the first half of a high-end athletic store. It's a smartphone app that allows women to anonymously rate past hookups, boyfriends and crushes, so that other women can see these rankings while men cannot. According to its website, "Lulu is a smart girls' app for private recommendations and reviews on guys," and according to my friends' reactions, Lulu is "WHAAAT?"

But now that we have already downloaded Lulu—and downloaded a dozen other apps so that no will notice it's on our phones—what do we do with it? It turns out that it takes more than just a bitter attitude and a willingness to objectify men to use Lulu correctly; it also takes some finesse. So here are some tips.

Be a Great Prefrosh Host

I was never a prefrosh at Visitas, I never officially hosted a prefrosh, and I don't even know what the word Visitas means (is it Latin or a pun?). I did however, babysit my neighbor once, and I'm pretty sure that means I’m qualified to give advice on how to host prefrosh.

Survive Lab as a Humanities Concentrator

Maybe it's for your SPU requirement, maybe you just drunkenly ended up in the Bio-Labs, or maybe you're like me, and you just wanted to play with chemicals. Regardless of the reason, it's happened—you're are in a lab class. Your strong verbal skills and College Board approved vocabulary won't help you here. As I like to say, science is hard. But luckily I have some tips that will make lab a little easier for us humanities concentrators.


Ace Your Interview

I learned the hard way that there is more to an interview than just answering questions; interviews are full of social norms like punctuality and shaking hands. So that others may learn from my mistakes, I have broken down some of the less obvious complexities of the standard interview.

Show School Spirit

Harvard's men's basketball team is first in the Ivy League, which means we might want to start taking school spirit seriously. But this can be hard. And since I am incredibly qualified to advise other Harvard students how to show some spirit (I did watch all three "Bring It On" movies), here are some tips.

Survive Section

So you haven't done the readings, and you've been too busy constantly refreshing your Gmail in lecture to even know if your professor is a male, female, or just a potted plant. But you don't want your section TF to know this— that would kill your participation grade! So here are a few tips critical to surviving section.

Have a Happy SAD

Tomorrow is February 14th, which means that it is Single Appreciation Day or SAD—not to be confused with Seasonal Affective Disorder. SAD is the time to celebrate your singleness regardless of any vitamin D deficiencies. So here are a few things that you can do to ensure that you have a happy SAD.


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