Two Months In: Lessons Learned

Hatrs Gonna Hat
Hatrs Gonna Hat

It’s finally reached that wonderful time in the fall where everything you can possibly think of is pumpkin flavored (pumpkin soy dairy-free ice cream at J.P. Licks, anyone?) and it’s cold enough to start wearing ugly Christmas sweaters as an obnoxious hipster fashion statement. In addition to realizing that I can’t spend all of my money online shopping for cable knit winter socks, here are some lessons I’ve learned over the past few weeks:

1) Wandering eyes at the library lead to socially awkward events.

It happens to the best of us—you look up from your computer screen to give your eyes a break and you happen to lock eyes with someone sitting at a library cubicle across the room. Both of you quickly look away as if it didn’t happen and you make a mental note that it’s now socially unacceptable to look in that direction again for the remainder of your stay in the library.

This common occurrence reached a whole new level of social awkwardness for me recently. I was sitting at a table in an alcove of bookshelves in the basement of Lamont when I looked up from my book to take a break. Through the little sliver of space between the books, I caught eyes with the guy sitting in the alcove next to mine, except he was in the middle of quickly trying to change his shirt. I had a little moment of panic and had no idea what to do except to prolong our eye contact (disclaimer: I swear I’m not a creep, I’m just socially inept and therefore unable to think rationally in uncomfortable situations). So if you ever find yourself in an especially awkward eye-lock with someone in the library, just remember it could be worse!

2) Your iPhone comes with a flashlight feature for a reason.

I’ve recently learned that I am the most productive early in the morning at Starbucks before classes, when there is no one to harass on Facebook chat and the only person awake that I can flood with texts is my mom. The first few mornings I tried this out, I somehow convinced myself that I could get dressed and find all of my things in the dark (an effort towards being considerate to my sleeping roommate). It was only after I lost my bi-weekly contact lenses three days in a row and received a series of lectures about irresponsibility from my mom that I realized I don’t in fact have night vision. In the search for any semblance of light, I noticed that my iPhone has a flashlight feature and felt extremely dumb for this late discovery. But at least now I know if I’m wearing my shirt backwards.

3) Dorm Decorating Disasters

You and your suitemates have probably been talking about decorating your rooms since moving in, but if you’re like me, you’ve most likely never gotten around to doing it.

Well, the other day I finally decided to bite the bullet. While perusing in the Square, I found a sign that said “Haters gonna hate” and thought it would be funny to hang in my common room. After climbing desks and using copious amounts of poster gum in order to hang the sign as symmetrically as possible, my suitemates and I looked at our finished product only to realize that joke weas on us—the sign was either made incorrectly or by someone who doesn't understand spelling and did not have any “e’s” in it (“Hatrs gonna hat”). After an intellectual discussion among my suitemates, we’ve decided that if anyone ever asks about our sign, we’re saying that it’s modern art and no one should question it.

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