How to Make Seniors Live in Old Quincy

The renovations of Old Quincy offered rising upperclassmen everything that administrators could imagine, but Quincy students have made their housing priorities quite clear: P.O.E. (Parties Over Everything).

Upperclassmen seem to be more concerned with their ability to host large parties in common spaces than they are excited about the new furnishings that enhance and beautify the renovated dorm. With this in mind, is there anything the administration can do or offer to entice students to flock to the new Old Quincy? We at Flyby had a few ideas:

1. Ca$h Moneys: Invest in the students. $500 a person.

2. One puppy per person: You get a puppy! We all do!

3. Jobs: Seniors need 'em, the administration may or may not have them.

4. Make it nasty: Literally just cause a rodent infestation in New Quincy.

5. Private common rooms. Awkward…