One Harvard sophomore is apparently having trouble juggling all-important final club initiations with other commitments. The anonymous student, who self-identifies as “a sophomore punching a Harvard final club,” has posted an ad on Craigslist soliciting a “secretary” to “deal with all my administrative work.”

“Anything from responding to basic emails, picking up dry cleaning, confirming appointments and turning in homework could be asked,” the ad requests. Reasonable, you might suggest: Wearing a yellow sweatshirt all week surely renders you unable to collect your laundry.

And this overwhelmed neophyte isn’t requesting help for nothing. Compensation, according to the ad, will be by hourly wage, provided that you submit your resume, any other “relevant material,” and sign a non-disclosure agreement “in order to maintain privacy.”

We wonder why this sophomore would want to keep this cry for help private. We’ve seen bolder calls on Craigslist, after all.