Act now or risk being alone forever. That's right, Datamatch 2016, as launched by the Harvard Computer Society with collaboration from Satire V and Professor of Psychology Steven Pinker, will be closing 12:00 a.m. on Valentine's Day. That's tonight for all of you who have trouble keeping track of what day it is. Don't miss this opportunity to find true, algorithm-based love at Harvard and the chance to eat free waffles at Zinneken’s, paid for by HCS. Help Harvard contribute to income inequality and continue to be the elite breeding ground that it is.

As reported in the New York Times in early 2015, Psychologist Arthur Aron did research on closeness and created a quiz consisting of 36 questions intended to be answered with a complete stranger. You’re supposed to fall in love with said stranger by the end of the quiz. The thinking behind this is that the vulnerability created by these questions draws people together. It seems as if Datamatch follows a similar format, promising the perfect match through intimate questions such as this:

What's your favorite pickup line?

    - Did it hurt? When you tripped on the sidewalk because of Cambridge's notoriously dangerous ancient cobblestone walkways?

    - I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

    - [Hold up list of movies, bucket of ice, and smile]

    - 01100010 01101100 01100101 01100101 01110000 00100000 01100010 01101100 01101111 01101111 01110000

    - ...EEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEE.....

Now you can finally find the future investment banker significant other you deserve. Don't miss out on this opportunity to find your one true love, or at least eat a waffle, froyo, or Clover breakfast sandwich for free.