So, you got quadded. If you’re fake, you feigned excitement upon hearing “Cabot…Cabot…Cabot!” or “Currier…Currier…Currier!” or “Pforzheimer…Pforzheimer…Pforzheimer!” right outside your room on Housing Day, and even after witnessing how vibrant of a community these houses provide, you still feel somewhat disappointed about how far away your new home is from everything else on campus. Never fear: just find you a river daddy! You'll be able to rely on the inhabitants of river houses for your daily—and nightly ;)—needs. Each house can offer you something different. Read below if you're interested:

Eliot Daddy
Are you an athlete with morning practice? Do you have to wake up at 5:45 a.m. for morning lift and it’s already 1 in the morning and walking back to the quad at night and then back to the river in the morning would give you almost 40 minutes less sleep? Get you an Eliot Daddy whose room you can sleep in at night to maximize sleep time. After all, you’ll perform better with more sleep!

Dunster/Winthrop Daddy
Getting tired of Harvard dorm life? Wanna feel like you’re on vacation and staying in a 4-star hotel? Dunster and Winthrop (starting next fall), the two most recently renovated houses on campus, can offer you hotel-like accommodations. They feature luxurious common spaces, buffet-style meals, and clean, comfortable rooms.

Lowell Daddy
Hungry and unwilling to go to and fro the quad in between classes for a total meal time of about 7 minutes? Identify a Lowell daddy to sneak you into the Winn (Lowelltell?) during the next two years of swing housing. The location is ideal, the rooming expansive, and the food options mildly delectable.

Mather Daddy
Need a quick nap? Identify a sole Mather daddy to grant you access to their dorm room. If they’re busy and not in the room, ask them to tape the door beforehand. With four singles in their room, you can nap in any one of the singles with guaranteed peace and quiet.

Quincy Daddy
Are you trying to throw a party and want river folk (and freshmen) to attend? Quincy is perfectly situated between all the houses and dorms to ensure good attendance. Your Quincy Daddy will submit the party form on your behalf and grant you their room (and if you’re lucky, snacks, beverages, and speakers) for the night.

Kirkland Daddy
Missing the unnaturally close-knit community of the Quad, yet don’t want to venture all the way back there in order to feel like you’re part of something bigger than yourself? Your Kirkland Daddy can introduce you to everyone in their tiny house, so you can have a riverside community too. #incestfest