Goldman to Win The Game, Cornell's Ranking Anxiety, and 'Compliments' All Around

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The quick and dirty about what's been going on around the Ancient Eight (and other schools too).

Even Jon Stewart has weighed in on what's going down this weekend, and it's not looking good for the Bulldogs. According to the Yale Daily News' Cross Campus blog, when asked by a Yale student which team would win The Game, Stewart said: "I'm pretty sure Goldman Sachs wins that one." That means Harvard, right?

U.S. News and World Report has ranked Cornell #15 on its list of best undergraduate universities in the nation. Cornell did not take the news well and is, as usual, verging on the embarrassingly defensive. A recent Op-Ed in the Cornell Daily Sun suggests that students take an active role in countering this most shameful insult. "First," it reads, "remind your friends and parents that we are both the hottest Ivy and the sixth best school academically in the country. Second, when we think about ways to improve Cornell, we should learn from the guidelines that are already out there." Yes, you read that right. From now on, this writer suggests, any changes they make should adhere to the U.S. News and World Report guidelines. Start rejecting more students, already! Jeez.

At the University of Pennsylvania, a newly-revealed alcohol policy allows mixed drinks at campus events for the first time since 1999. Same here! Cheers, guys.

Also at Penn, they're taking a page from Harvard's book and starting a pilot program in kindness, creatively titled Penn Compliments. Columbia has followed suit with its own "Compliments" page, which is apparently exposing a friendly underbelly of the school the likes of which its students have never before seen. And—followers that they are—Yalies couldn't stand being left out of the fun. Been there, done that.

Last but not least, a junior at Brown has set off a small frenzy with his publication of an editorial about why universal suffrage is immoral. "If person A contributes 100 times more than person B in income taxes, person A should have 100 times more voting power than person B," he writes, concluding that "a vote is a right, but it should be a privilege." Umm... what?