Sorry folks, Spring Break is over. Luckily, the Arts Board is here to help. Successful execution of an all-nighter requires mastery of the myriad emotional states that stress and exhaustion produce—grief, anger, narcissism, joy, transcendence. After careful research, Arts has found that the best tools for dealing with stress are copious volumes of coffee and music from the German classical repertoire. Enjoy.
Hour 1: 10 - 11 p.m.
With grim determination and resolve, you set out for whichever library or dining hall you've selected for your crucifixion. The grave serenity of Bach's massive oratorio foretells a night of pain with the certainty of salvation—in about eight hours.
Hours 2 & 3: 11 p.m. – 1 a.m.
You're on a roll, and you feel invincible—amplify the heroic mood with what might be the most self-aggrandizing piece of music ever written. Throw humility to the wind and enjoy the power trip.
Hour 4: 1 - 2 a.m.
Suddenly, you remember you're exhausted. Down a coffee and force yourself to surge ahead—go with a Beethoven finale for ecstatic oomph.
Hour 5: 2 - 3 a.m.
You've come to a place of quasi-religious tranquility—so tired yet lucidly awake. Your suffering has transcended the body, but your saving grace is the promise of sleep in just four hours. The heavenly Brahms chorus confirms that the joy of eternal rest is within reach.
Hours 6 & 7: 3 – 5 a.m.
Tranquility has long given way to existential despair, but with the sleep deprivation you're also feeling so loopy that you're not sure if it is your mind or Arnold Schoenberg that has placed a seemingly random soprano into the midst of an atonal string quartet. As you cope with hallucinations, the sun starts to peek through the windows of the library, reminding you that tomorrow is actually a real thing.
Hour 8: 5 - 6 a.m.
The sun is up, it's tomorrow, and you're finally done. There is a kind of perverse joy that comes with what you've just accomplished, and as you pack up, you might as well revel in the glory of your acheivement as Birgit Nilsson's Brünnhilde hails the sun and radiant day with all her Teutonic might. Now, it's time to go sleep forever.