A Little Levity
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Like Forrest Gump would’ve said if he’d gotten the chance, course selection at Harvard is like a box of chocolates. That Gen Ed could turn out to be filled with sweet, melty caramel—or funky raspberry syrup. That off-the-wall VES elective could be luscious dark chocolate right to the core, or a flavorless layer of brown barely covering a hollow center. Avoid some unpleasant surprises this spring: don’t bite into any of the duds below.
People who hate on ugly Christmas sweater parties are the same people who hate on Kim Kardashian and Justin Bieber: people just love to hate on things that are a tiny bit tacky and enormously popular.
If you were on I-95 anywhere between Providence, R.I. and Secaucus, N.J. last Wednesday evening, you knew there was a lot of traffic. What you didn’t know is that this traffic consisted entirely of my extended family, aka every second-to-fourth-generation Portuguese-Italian who can trace their roots to the Greater Newark Metropolitan Area. Including me.
I don’t understand why we all hang out all year, but do our own things for the month of December. Why can’t we just light the Chanukkah with the Kinara? Or fill stockings with latkes? Or do whatever we want to do, regardless of what God we’re fans of (or totally not fans of)?
The interuniversity trade routes between Yale and Harvard opened earlier this month by the proclamation of CS50’s export to Yale College, which is in Connecticut. This is no small step. CS50 is the best bioweapon we have engineered. With its t-shirts and free stuff, we are hopeful that it will divide the Yale campus into two groups: those who wear the “I took CS50” T-shirts, and those who do not. But this export should not be the last one by any means. FM considers other authentic items that Harvard has to offer to this time-honored rival for its betterment:
While our TFs always try to be helpful, sometimes their generous advice comes in the form of pure brutality. Every now and then, we get a paper back and the unforgiving red ink is more honest than we needed it to be. Because it happens way too often, FM takes another look at some of our TFs’ greatest hits in the genre of mean comments.
Hi, Yale friends. It can be hard navigating the Harvard social scene (though not as hard as navigating the New Haven crime scene). FM came up with some tips that should help you have a good time after The Game.
Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Whether you’re an international student who’s baffled as to why we eat turkey in remembrance of genocide, an American undergrad dreading going home out of fear of seeing your parents, or somewhere in between, FM’s got you covered. You’re only five questions away from a definitive answer as to what you should do for Thanksgiving, so what are you waiting for? Christmas?
Reiss, a former showrunner, writer, and producer for “The Simpsons,” talks about Harvard’s lack of fun.
The co-executive producer of The Simpsons explains what happens when doctor dreams go down the drain.
The head writer of “Jimmy Kimmel Live” presents John Harvard’s will.
Thurston, writer of “How to Be Black,” wonders what else swing housing could offer.
The creator of “Sabrina, the Teenage Witch” writes about what’s changed in the Harvard dorms since the ’80s… Buzzfeed style.
Co-creator of ABC’s “Trophy Wife” tells you how to “drop the H-bomb” when you’re past your prime.