A Little Levity
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Venn Diagram of Shakespeare and Shake Shack
Lines sometimes seem impossible Loved by bourgeois New Yorkers Might be first-date material for Harvard students Best when accompanied by alcohol Much ado about nothing
1819: Outside the Gates Mrs. Emerson: Oh son, I’ve missed you so! Have you decided? Law or Pre-Med? Ralph Waldo: Mother, I’ve decided to be a poet! Mrs. Emerson faints. Mr. Emerson glares at Ralph before carrying her back to their carriage.
Whether they’re in the comfort of your own home or in the immeasurable discomfort of a college d-hall, meals with your parents are inevitable and awkward. After months of collegiate independence, the onslaught of one-on-two time with the pair that raised you can be disorienting. Because fake-texting is taxing, FM’s got you covered with a distracting dinner-time questionnaire to help you figure out: what meal are you at with your parents?
Our ever-curious and anonymous freshman has Housing Day on his mind. Below, three of FM’s experts answer Josh’s questions about blocking group drama, floating, and avoiding the Quad.
Entry into many of Harvard’s various student organizations comes at a price. The loss of brain cells hangs in the balance on the most fateful and celebratory of occasions: Initiations. FM has arrived—water and snacks in hand—to speculate as to how, exactly, DAPA would conduct their paradoxical initiations.
What’s on the mind of every freshman as soon as she sets foot back on campus in late January, you ask? Housing Day. That looming morning, far-off-yet-so-close-it-gives-you-night-terrors, when the Housing Gods decide if you’ll be taking a shuttle to get to class for the next three years. As if all the blocking and linking group drama weren’t enough, there’s a new medium to constantly remind us of our upcoming woes: previews for housing day videos.
This President’s Day weekend, young debaters flocked to Cambridge for the 40th annual Harvard National High School Invitational Forensics Tournament. Dressed in pencil skirts and oxford shirts, these high schoolers meant business. In their down time away from judges, however, their speech went unchecked.
“Oh, so you guys are Facebook official now! Now you know it’s legit.”
Ah, Valentine’s Day. For some, it’s an excuse to drop the humdrum responsibilities of the semester and relish an evening on the town with the one you love. For others, it’s simply the right time to drink alone. Here are FM’s suggestions for a liquor-soaked holiday, no matter your relationship status.
In today’s ambiguous world of dating, Facebook owes us some certainty.
All of us will be checking our e-mails tomorrow morning with hopes of finding a Valentine’s Day message from Dean Pfister. FM imagines how the dean might celebrate this day with one of his signature messages to the student body.
Shopping week is over, but when reading assignments get boring, you might want to check out some of the passionate (and perhaps hyperbolic) prose in Harvard’s Q Guide. Here are some of the comments that stand out, ranked in order of ascending score.