A Little Levity
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It’s February. It’s cold. It’s early enough in the semester that your BoardPlus shouldn’t have run out. I have $108 left due to overwhelming self-discipline. It’s time to cozy up in a café.
What is the deal with HUDS Birthday Cake???
The subject of this year’s speech is unknown to the public, and the suspense is killing us. In the meantime, we drew up a few ideas of our own.
Gaining an audience with the mighty Local Emergency Management Team Leader Supreme, All-Knowing Weather Aficionado Dean of Student Life Stephen Lassonde was not easy.
Ever gone in for the hug only to be held at arm’s length with a firm handshake? Ever had your extended hand crushed between two bodies in a gripping embrace? FM knows that, sometimes, it can just be hard to greet people. We’re here to help. Take our quiz below and get on the path to becoming a socializing extraordinaire.
We’ll be the first to admit it: we aren’t the most muscular writers on FM. We don’t have the prodigious heft of Nathan and Ben, for instance. But, feeling fed up with the biting jabs about our scrawniness at writers’ meetings, we recently sought the help and advice of one of the fittest people on campus: Carolyn F. Pushaw ’16, a Marine-option ROTC midshipmen.
FM imagines where Harvard’s premier talent is most likely to end up. Today we bring you a guide to your futures based on your choice of student group. And let’s be honest: We all know Harvard students only join these clubs for the career opportunities. So when you consider what to comp next semester, keep this list in mind.
Here are a few summer proposals we’re almost positive that the OCS has received, and no doubt rejected, in the past.
Now that everyone has frolicked sufficiently, snow days have become a time for learned contemplation. FM considers how students of various concentrations can best use their time off.
I want to be known, and loved, and intellectually and sexually adored constantly by everybody. I want each party to be a glimmering climax where I utterly belong. Enter Valentine’s Day weekend: a playground of hungry hearts and lonely bodies.
Well, it’s that time of the year again, the time when loveless (and sexless) Harvard students have their best chance of finding the one who’s missing from their lives. No, I am not talking about the podst-Valentine’s Day spike in Tinder use. We’re talking about the one, the only, Datamatch. If love can’t be found using questions such as, “What kind of infectious disease describes your sex life?” then all hope is lost. With that in mind, FM describes the seven people with whom you Datamatched (whether or not you are excited about them is up to you).