A Little Levity
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Yes, that’s right. I am ______(humbled/humblebragging/bragging) that I am a member of the Harvard Class of 2019!
FM suggests that the FDO try hosting Food Fight Fortnight, an opportunity for students to get real hands-on experience in their concentrations with like-minded freshmen. We imagine it would play out something like this...
Take a look at these special concentrations—paired with thesis titles—to pick out the real from the fake, and the special from the non-special.
After weeks of begging my editor to let me write this story, she acquiesced. I gave up my phone and Facebook account to my roommate. The terms of this experiment were laughably soft. I figured that this week probably best mirrored the conditions for a student in the early 2000s: access to email but not to phones or social media platforms.
“Please walk your bikes.” Those four words greet many would-be-cyclists who attempt to ride through Harvard Yard. Except for the bicyclists who consider following this rule to be simply inconceivable, there is just one choice for legal wheels in Harvard Yard: the Razor scooter.
You have literally no idea how to deal with the season that comes between November and March. No, tights with shorts doesn’t count as winter wear. Find a native New England friend and have them teach you the ways of the windy, frigid world.
Let’s play word association: Nap! Acceptable answers are only “I want one” or “If only I had the time.” Squeezing those shut-eyed moments of pure bliss into your busy schedule can be difficult. Between all of the procrastinating on Facebook, dawdling at the Kong, and avoiding last night’s hook-up, there is often only a small window to hit the sack and take a nap. You rush out of class, bleary-eyed and bushy- tailed, but you live so far away! Where can you possibly go to responsibly catch some afternoon Zzz’s and wake up in a sweaty panic, wondering what the heck the time is and why it’s so dark out?
Here’s the fundamental problem with riding scooters on a college campus: They don’t help you in any way. Sure, maybe when you were a youth, riding a scooter was a way to tell the world you were independent, but the day you’re old enough to shave with a razor is the day you’re too old to ride one.
Recently, new domain names such as .sucks, .porn, and .adult have become available for purchase. Here's what FM imagines they'll buy next.
Wondering how to respectfully and distantly inquire about a pal's break? FM has got you covered.
Spring Break is over and there are still seven weeks until summer. There may not be much to look forward to between now and then, but there is one day that will give many some comic relief—April Fools’ Day. If you don’t have a legendary prank in mind, don’t stress! We here at FM came up with some of the best pranks of the year.
Here are some of Farnsworth’s finest and strangest, available now for your reading pleasure.
FM delves into the wacky (imaginary) inbox of University President Drew G. Faust.
Not many people study crying. But we do. It’s not weird. For our research, we ventured into the field to observe criers in their natural habitats. What follows are our findings on where people cry and why. We also give some advice for those not yet experienced in the art of Harvard crying.