A Little Levity
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Wondering how to respectfully and distantly inquire about a pal's break? FM has got you covered.
Spring Break is over and there are still seven weeks until summer. There may not be much to look forward to between now and then, but there is one day that will give many some comic relief—April Fools’ Day. If you don’t have a legendary prank in mind, don’t stress! We here at FM came up with some of the best pranks of the year.
Here are some of Farnsworth’s finest and strangest, available now for your reading pleasure.
FM delves into the wacky (imaginary) inbox of University President Drew G. Faust.
Not many people study crying. But we do. It’s not weird. For our research, we ventured into the field to observe criers in their natural habitats. What follows are our findings on where people cry and why. We also give some advice for those not yet experienced in the art of Harvard crying.
The first day of spring was this past Saturday, meaning that it is a blustery 30 degrees in Cambridge when I set out to begin my day on Sunday afternoon. Still, it’s 90 degrees somewhere—more specifically, it’s 90 degrees in the exotic locales my classmates are returning from, as they climb off of airplanes sunburned and with an Instagram feed much sunnier than mine (the status of my bank account vehemently vetoed any kind of international or trans-coastal flight).
We’ve all seen that desperate Facebook post. You know, the one that reads something like this: “I lost my black Canada Goose jacket, size medium, this weekend! FM has developed a tried-and-true method for locating said article of clothing.
As the frenzied thesis season draws to a close and many seniors take a look at the sky again for the first time in weeks, FM examines offbeat thesis titles of yesteryear.
Housing Day is right around the corner, folks, and we all know what that means. That’s right, it means it’s time for all of you freshmen to gather in your blocking groups, the formation of which has been causing you to stress eat for the past few weeks, and sacrifice some cuddly baby animals in an ancient voodoo ritual to appease the Housing Day gods.
It’s a semester and a half into your freshman year at Harvard: You’ve given up on three start-ups, stopped going to the gym, and come to the realization that this school has enough sausage to stimulate Upton Sinclair’s journalistic appetite. But Upton Sinclair hasn’t been born yet and the absence of females in your life isn’t the product of spitting bad game or being denied into the Fly.
It’s February. It’s cold. It’s early enough in the semester that your BoardPlus shouldn’t have run out. I have $108 left due to overwhelming self-discipline. It’s time to cozy up in a café.
What is the deal with HUDS Birthday Cake???
The subject of this year’s speech is unknown to the public, and the suspense is killing us. In the meantime, we drew up a few ideas of our own.