Free things=good things. Go to the crew intro meeting for a free athletic shirt. Go to the Barker Center Café as it’s closing for free coffee. Go to Lamont café for a free massage from your peers (apparently). Go to the laundry room for free condoms. Go to the career fair for free random shit with company logos. Go to the libraries for free pencils. Go to Mather Lather for free soap. Go to any bulletin board for free thumbtacks. Go to Lowell on Thursdays or Sparks House on Wednesdays for free tea. Go online for Freeze magazine. Go to the Democracy Center for freedom. Go to MIT for freaks. And don’t go to Harvard if you want to save money.
— Charles R. Melvoin