Jacob R. Drucker
President Faust, I am told, was scientifically correct, but could have sounded more insensitive only if she had Skyped into the meeting from her private villa somewhere in the Caribbean, swimming in a pool of hundred dollar bills.
Nobody can be too surprised to find out that so many of us duplicated our profiles or made the jump from Snapchat to Tinder, making our search for a fun night out just a little more explicit.
In preparation for finals week, you should first learn the hours of Dunkin’ Donuts. Starbucks is for hipsters, who sip double-whipped peppermint mocha frappalattes and write “underappreciated works of contemporary societal analysis.”
How could the president tell us such a lousy lie? He couldn't find anything better to lie about?
The Middle East is hardly a model of stability. Civil wars, bloody suppressions, and international conflicts seem par for the course. However, the past few years have seen an increase in violent struggles in the region. And these recent upheavals are harbingers of future Mideast chaos, caused in part by the decreasing global importance of oil. An isolationist shift in American foreign policy, excepting only Israel, will exacerbate this trend toward regional destabilization.
We were supposed to be perfectly safe, we suburbanites, protected by airport screeners and those wars abroad and successive presidents who put safety above all.
France’s decision to invade Mali in many ways vindicates the Bush Doctrine.
We never did learn to knife fight underwater.
Movies mean big business. They are popular, far-reaching, and, with any luck, entertaining. The movie industry, though, does far more than entertain us—it plays an active role in shaping our collective consciousness.
As a Florida native who survived too many storm seasons, I feel obligated to impart to my faithful northern readers some advice and wisdom regarding hurricanes.
After waiting the better part of an hour, my brother and I were ushered inside, only to wait in line and be told he would need a birth certificate, social security card, old license, notarized letter of recommendation, and two unique documents attesting to his current address.
America may run on Dunkin, but Washington staggers around on Heineken like it’s nobody’s business.
I am a mere novice when it comes to procrastination. The true masters of the trade have orchestrated a house-wide war to distract us all from upcoming deadlines and projects and essays and midterms and finals.
Here at Harvard, everyone seems to act like a successful forty-year-old, taking classes simply as a hobby.