Dashiell F. Young-Saver
What is “campus-eye-contact-culture?” It’s a multi-faceted, multi-dimensional, and multi-hyphenated term that I just made up, and it encompasses the set of behaviors surrounding eye-contact on campus.
At the end of the day, nature is dirty. And it completely goes against our clean, man-made world.
So between any two schools—whether it be Stanford and Harvard; Harvard and BU; or Stanford and Moorpark Community College—comparisons are something best left for the movies.
I think the women here are more attractive than the men—probably because they have larger breasts than the men. However, these findings do support what seems like a pretty commonly held undergraduate belief that the guys are hotter than the girls. At least, that’s the opinion I’ve heard from guys. I haven’t heard much from the girls, even though I do talk to girls. Definitely.
Early this semester, the administration announced that Interim Dean Donald H. Pfister will step down in July. Although Harvard fungi have probably been celebrating non-stop in anticipation of Daddy’s return, most of Harvard’s non-tremella-fuciformis-beings have expressed sadness at the approach of his departure—myself included.
Sometimes, it takes a bunch of penises to let you know life is going by.
Since the beginning of sports, or at least since High School Musical 2 hit theaters, athleticism has been seen as against academics.
Like middle school, a lot of social interactions at Harvard are awkward. Many chalk this up to differences in backgrounds between students. But I also think there is another source to it—the variety of ages we portray.
The truth is, hooking up is good or bad depending on who you are and where you’ve been (that’s as literal as you want it to be).
In April, the Korean pop-star sensation Psy, known for “Gangam Style,” visited Harvard to talk in Memorial Church. He was introduced by a couple of professors. For a while, they talked about globalizing Korean pop culture. The hall, in the meantime, fluctuated between a state of academic-induced sleep and nervous excitement, while the pop-star waited outside.
At the end of the day, the rankings really amount to a pseudo-objective reflection of subjective reputation.
As we all know, freshman year starts with Convocation: a welcoming of the new class, during which the president of the University calls everyone failures. Or at least, she wants them to fail.
As strange as it seems, differences are what bring students together. And it can be only through embracing and learning from those differences, rather than comparing them, that students will remain together. I’ve tried both ways, and trust me—it doesn’t even compare.
Because if the discussion of academics continues glossing over the diverse goals and ideals of the student body in one bitter, nostalgic glance, that piece of paper will never have a chance at influencing what students choose to write on theirs.
My mom is a tired hooker.