A FRESHMAN is exulting over how he made April fools of his instructors on the First. He got his lessons unusually well, and then when called upon, sang out, "Not prepared." - Chronicle.
ONCE a careless man went to the cellar and stuck the candle in what he thought was a keg of black sand. He sat near it drinking wine until the candle burned low. Nearer and nearer it got to the black sand; nearer and nearer, until the blaze reached the black sand; and it was sand, - nothing happened. - Ex.
The University Reporter runs a private dictionary. It has a long article headed "Yaine"; which name occurs throughout; probably the author was undecided whether to write up Yates or Taine, and so concluded to mix thing. In the same piece we have "Thackery," "jolley," "hypocrasy," and "Mesey," one of Dickens's characters, probably either Miggs, Meagles, or Miss La Creevy.
YALE wants a new fence, on which they can sit and sing themselves away in everlasting bliss; the "sweetest reminiscence of college life." The Record is horrified at the amount of studying done on Sunday; but does not reflect what an awful thing it is to be on the fence between fear of God and fear of a condition in the Calculus. "There is a rumor abroad that Harvard will give a free Glee Club concert at Saratoga next July, in the regatta ball-room." For enterprising discovery of items, commend us to the Yale Record.
MESSRS. WOODS, Mann, Bruyere, Jacobus, Beach, Loughlin, Williamson, Paton, Van Deventer, form the Princeton Nine. The uniforms are of grayish blue, bound with orange. Princeton will send a University Crew and a Freshman Crew to the Regatta. The finest thing about the Nassau Lit. is the engraving on the cover.
As we know the Bowdoin Orient will improve, we feel no scruples in saying that the present number is poor. A threadbare poem opens the number; there is also a poem on "Nosorora" or some such sonorously named female, the whole idea and gist of which is that a girl was going to have a spread and was drowned just before partaking of it. This original plot is clothed in seventeen verses of "full-orbed moon," "castle gray," "quiet stream," "gloomy pall," etc., etc. How long will it be before students will learn that mere permutation of high-sounding epithets to form metre is not poetry? The paper is under the management of a new board, which begins its duties with an editorial, the first part of which contains an apology for writing anything at all, and the last a sort of prospectus of the coming four seasons. We especially admire their close observations of nature as exemplified in their striking similes:-
"As books are preceded by prefaces never read, as animals go through certain strange movements when they first meet, as men chatter about nothing when introduced, so we propose to do, and say a few words of no importance."
THE University Review, of Wooster, O., is the next paper that attempts to raise its moral reputation by a "goody" attack upon tobacco; the chief argument against its use being the startling and brilliant discovery that it is a "filthy weed." The writer seems to think that if he throws enough mud, some will surely stick; and so, Swinburne-like, wallows in a mire of coarse invective. Confessing that we do not see anything inherently nasty in the smoke of an aromatic herb, whatever may be the mental effects, we give a few selections as samples of the style of argument employed in the poorest grade of Western journalism: "If it was n't just for the name of the thing, I'd rather a man with a clean mouth would spit in my face than endure the foul breath of a smoker. . . . . A fine gentleman I would be, forsooth, to spit in your face; but if I've a good stomach and a tooth-brush, it's a deal cleaner than the breath from your beslimed mouth. . . . . A young lady said she would always live single and clean, rather than embrace the stench of the narcotic abomination." But enough. It is well for the writer to consider freedom from the habit of smoking so important a characteristic of gentlemen; as it is, evidently, his only one.