TO MAKE AN AFTER-DINNER SPEECH.

TAKE one Latin School boy of a tender age, - one who has trodden on the edge of dangerous and unknown truths preferred, - two cupfuls of platitudes, four cupfuls of conceit; then add two pounds of feeling allusions to the effect that the great majority of your friends never use soap and water, and don't know enough to open their bedroom windows at night. Garnish the dish with "it seems to me," and sprinkle freely with the pronoun I. Serve with grandiloquence and bombast.

He who has followed the above receipt may disgust his friends with the flavor of the dish, but he is sure to impress them with the importance of the cook.

XX.