ONE day during the last week of the examinations I went to lunch a little earlier than usual, and, as every one else at the table had an examination on that day, I had to wait some time before any one came in. At last in came our Historical Member.
"Hello, Tom!" said he. "What did you have to-day? I got through immensely. Seventy per cent any way. History - is bully, and - is about the best man in college. I wish that he had another course, and I'd take it next year. "Hello, Freshie!" to our dropped member, who had just come in. "If you want to get back into your class, just take History -."
At this point the rest of the table came in, headed by our Musical Member, who was beating time with his hand, and humming some before unheard-of tune.
We were soon seated, with the Freshman at one end of the table, and the Musical Member at the other.
"How was Music -?" asked the Freshman.
"It was pretty hard; but I think I did the original composition well, - something like this, 'la la fa re do si mi, &c.'"
Long before this every one was comparing notes.
1st man on right of Music to 3d man on left of Music. "If there is any one thing that would give me more pleasure than anything else, it would be to go to B -'s funeral. He does give the meanest examinations of any man in college. Why, if I had had six hours instead of three, I should not have had time. What did you put for that question about all those men, don't you know, who were in the Droit and Gauche, and all that rot?"
The answer to this was lost in the cry from No. 1 l. to No. 5 r: "Good enough! That's what I put. I had n't the remotest idea what it ought to be. Did n't Charles the Fat come after Bayard?"
No. 5 r. - "No, I am quite sure that he did n't. Don't you remember that fellow who was always having his brothers poisoned? Well, he came just before the man with the game leg, who went to Pope what's-his-number, to get a divorce from his wife, who was the daughter or cousin or something of the mother of Charles the Fat. Oh, I had it perfectly cold. I say," - to No. 5 l., "how did you get along with your calculus?"
No. 5 l. - "I? Oh, beastly; that came last week, you know, and to-day I heard my mark; only eighty-five."
No. 2 r. - "Great Heavens! you don't mean to say that that was all you got. Why, you will be dropped as sure as a gun. It makes me mad to hear you ninety per cent men talk. If I get sixty, I go on a bat."
All these remarks had been going on at the same time, and the din was tremendous; but, above all, the Musical Member at the head of the table was to be heard singing his composition, at the top of his lungs, to a man at the other end, while he beat time with the carving knife, entirely unconscious of the frantic appeals for meat from the man on his right. At this point the Freshman gets up in his chair and yells, -
"For Heaven's sake, let us have a little quiet. I don't care about your old examinations. If the President could only hear you, he would recommend us to solitary confinement, instead of wanting us to give up the pernicious habit of going home on -"
No. 4 r. - "Dry up, Freshie; you can't understand these things. Next year, if you are not dropped again, you -"
No. 3 r. to No. 4 l. - "How many million years did you say the last glacier covered Boston -?"
Here No. 2 l gets up with a glass of water in his hand, and threatens to drown any man who mentions examinations.
As No. 2 is a large man, we are obliged to finish our lunch in comparative quiet.