VITAMINES AND VICTORY

Harvard men who have for years shouted their praises of the Haughton system should consider the novel theory advanced by a chemist from Connecticut. Yale has lost its athletic supremacy, so this scientific man declares, because the soil of the State has become exhausted, and college men have for that reason become a race of less vitality. If the tribe of weaklings at New Haven is to prosper, farmers must grow alfalfa to get phosphate of lime into the milk. Lime and legumes, says the expert, will go far toward redeeming Yale's athletic prowess. Thus is the intricacy of intercollegiate sport reduced to simple terms of molecules and fertilizers.

Hereafter, the husky guard or fullback will not be spoken of by admiring spectators as being "beefy" but rather as "symbolic of potent legumes and vitamines." The latter phrase is longer than the old one, but is much more scientific. Should the advice of the scientist be taken, the Elis may make a revolutionary move in athletics by installing a staff of chemists to cooperate with the coaches of mere fundamentals and tactics. When Connecticut soil is restored with lime, and when vetches, soy beans, field peas, clover and alfalfa furnish the needed nitrogen to farms and pastures in that state, then the Bull-dog can growl in his deepest bass--"Harvard, Good-night!"