Max Keezer, Optimist, Demands Retraction--Far From Dissatisfied With Life While Business Is Booming

Max Keezer, Harvard square merchant, took exceptions to the article in yesterday's CRIMSON outlining his philosophy of life and depicting the struggles of his early days. He came into the CRIMSON office bright and early yesterday morning with fire in his eye.

"You said I am dissatisfied with life," he complained to the apologetic assistant managing editor in charge. "I didn't, I'm not. What will all my friends think when they read that? It will be copied in the Boston papers and go all over the world. How would you like to have it say that you were dissatisfied with life?"

The editor agreed that he might not like it.

The only other statement to which Max made violent objection was the one saying that he was a pessimist at heart. Apparently in Max's mind, a pessimist is as bad as an anarchist. "I'm no pessimist," he declared, "and I'd hate to have my friends and business associates think I was.

"Of course I didn't say that business is worse either," he went on. "Business is good. But that doesn't matter much. And I didn't say I started out by selling shoe laces, but I don't mind that. I don't mind anything in a spirit of fun. I never sold a shoe lace, but I wouldn't be ashamed of it if I had. I woundn't care if you said I got my start driving a garbage truck. That's just as honest a way to earn money as selling bonds is."

Max admitted that he had told the candidate that he was made for better things and that he had at one time contemplated entering the profession of medicine.

"But," he concluded, "I don't like it when you say I am dissatisfied with life, and I don't like to have you say I am a pessimist. I want a retraction in tomorrow's paper."