HEY, BOB, IS MY NOSE SHINY?

A member of the Columbia University football team almost caused a riot in that institution's famous library the other day when he produced a powder compact, mirror and all, in the reading room, and proceeded to cast a cosmetic cloud over his manly countenance with the raw materials contained therein.

"Asked whether he thought that was nice," says the New York World, "he is said to have replied that this is a free country and that George Washington wore a powdered wig and blue satin trousers and nobody thought any the less of him for it." The World further indicates that Columbia undergraduates are taking to powder and lipstick in force. Athletic exertion makes their faces shine so disgustingly!

If courage is the prime requisite of a football player, the hero in question may reasonably expect to see himself listed in most of the all-American selections this year. Serious personal injury would probably have been his lot in other institutions where students are more impulsive than at Columbia. Perhaps, even among Columbia's countless apathetic thousands, only a football player could attempt what this young man did without being cast from the top of Grant's tomb.

One can imagine what a furor this news will cause in the "What the Well-Dressed Man Will Wear" columns in Vanity Fair and theatre programs. Having missed being the heralds of a new age, Cholly Knickerbocker and Beaunash will probably commit suicide. It may soon become the fashion for engaged Columbia couples to exchange compacts at Christmas, perfectly assured that their presents will satisfy; and, beyond doubt, everyone will be rejoiced to see some saint in the compacts which haberdashers have always had on display along with perfume sprays and manicure sets.