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The History of Harvard's Commencement, Explained

THE CRIME

"Small habits well pursued betimes May reach the dignity of crimes."

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

All for Science

The Conservative banner has suffered a snub,

While the enemy's flag flutters gally;

For everyone's joining the Liberal Club

At the rate of some five hundred daily,

Give a cheer, then, gosh dang 'er,

For Margaret Sanger!

The rumor is rife of a scheduled address

Which will quicken the heart in its beating;

It is said every man in the college will bless

What he learns at this radical meeting.

Give a cheer, then, gosh dang 'er,

For Margaret Sanger!

It is true some have doubts of this birth control stuff;

Is "control" what they mean, when they vaunt it?

To prevent sons and daughters is hardly enough;

Can you get either one when you want it?

If you can, then, gosh dang 'er,

God bless Mrs. Sanger!

John Harvard Says:

There was a time--back in the good old days when tradition was still in swaddling clothes--when the Yard was as full of characters as a Dickens novel. As early as the seventeenth century one Samuel Gibson had won the general esteem by sponsoring certain midnight parties at his dwelling to which students brought sundry turkeys, geese and other fowls from the neighbors' hen houses to be cooked. More than once the Overseers "sollemnly cautioned" the convivial host "of entertaining any of the students in his house, frequenting the Colledges, or drawing them otherwise into his company." All to no avail. The merry Samuel remained the center of extracurriculum activities until his death.

Another striking figure was that of an Ethiopian "scout", Dr. Charles, who held forth in the eighteen-twenties. He was the precursor of two modern institutions, the Phillips Brooks Old Clothes Drive and Max Keezer. Through his diligence as a collector and his extraordinary thrift, he became the source of supply for students and even professors in need of "small loans". It is said "he was always ready to place his funds at the disposal of the College."

The greatest of them all was John the Orangeman. For half a century he was the most popular man in Cambridge. His title to immortality is a now classic phrase which he coined in an inspired moment and repeated ever afterward on suitable occasions: "Ter bell wid Yale!" This won for him the mascotship of all Harvard teams, and in that official capacity he traveled with them wherever the fair name of Harvard was to be upheld on the field of combat.

A practical patriot, Maud,

Was wife to ten soldiers abroad.

Instead of a pension

They gave her detention

For using the males to defraud.

CRIMSON headline announcing the lecture-recital of Mile. Nadia Boulanger: "To Sing and Talk in Paine". Help! Help!

To the Editor of The Crime:

The Boston Herald referred to President Coolidge in a recent editorial as "the wise old President". Really, I prefer the simple epithet of H. L. Mencken, "Doctor Coolidge". Loyal Opposition '29.

Beware! and Beware!

Who touches a drop of yon white mule.

Dies like a dog, a gosh darned fool!   Daily Princetonian.

Who clutches a hope of P. B. K.

Renounces his right to a care-free day.

Who follows advice of his tutor dear;

Will welcome divisional, so I hear.

Who scorns the advice of his tutor good.

Will rue the day, as indeed he should.

Who touches a pen to write a rhyme.

May comfort himself if it's worth a dime.

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