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THE CRIME

By D. G. G.

Ah! Lady with the fallen arches

Who gayly launders, daily starches

My shirts, and wherewithal and collars

And takes my little dimes and dollars.

God to you his own kindness send,

That you may mend, that you may mend,

And that your irons be not gluttons,

Devouring my finest buttons. B. V. D.

Does anyone know where this Parmalee College is that Red Grange goes to in "One Minute to Play"? I don't play football. But then Claxton hasn't been having such good teams recently. And I can walk beneath the trees with the girl friend almost as well as Grange. Of course he has played around with ice and knows how to treat that when it appears. Yet I can build a very good bonfire, and I like to talk to presidents, especially when they chew tobacco. That makes for community of interest. If anyone finds out where Parmalee is, will he or she please let me know? I'm tired.

* * * *

Some day when I am gone,

And there's no trace

Of what I was

Upon the face

Of the earth.

Then do not get me wrong.

Sing out this little song,

"She asked an Irish cop

To make the traffic stop."

Then in my nether sphere.

I'll rise and give my cheer.   Grace Hall.

* * * *

By the way if anyone who reads this is interested in Grace Hall let me explain who she is. I'll do it anyway. Grace is a little girl of thirteen who has already had many articles in the papers. Her mother lived in New Jersey. But do not think that she is any relation to the better murderers of that state. She is a poetess of the first water, having already received many prizes, including the Pulitzer (She is an American), the Harvard Advocate Conference Prize, and fifty dollars from the Fleischman Company for the following

Every morning when I rise

I praise Fleischman's to the skies,

Later when I go to bed,

I thank it for my daily bread.

Of course this is not Grace at her best. That will come later. We hope to hear from Grace again. Thank you Grace.

In this big battle between Straton and Mather tonight I'm putting my money on Mather. I took his course. He may, naturally be disqualified for bringing rocks with him to sock this herbiverous dinosaur of the gay nineties. But I doubt that--Mather is fair even to igneous intrusions from New York's open spaces.'

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