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Various are the workings of the reforming mind. From that distant time, so ancient as to fail admission to the field of divisionals, when a reforming officer from Olympus kept the only two humans in existence from the grass of Eden, reformers have flourished the weapons of restraint. And now in the sacred precincts of academic freedom these praying, preying protestants of all the joi de vivre and verve of life have found in modern science a means of making more moral the minions of culture.
For the University of Arkansas has discovered that the pencillium spore in kisses, powder puffs, and lead pencils breeds germs. So the undergraduate body is now ready to join the arch-angelic class of those who never use kisses or powder puffs or pencils. Thus biology has saved more existences and ruined more lives.
That this is neither vapid nor too expansive is proved by even momentary thought. For where would the world be without any one of the three. It was a kiss which sealed the doom of at least one martyr, which saved from doom at least one saint. And how many of the grand monuments of literature have subsisted on the strength of their purple passages, begermed but satisfying. As for powder puffs. Well, at least they have created a "Kiki" and have cured one defect in woman's beauty. For even Dido must have been chagrined to see the gleam from her sun burnished nose reflected in the plus eyes of her stern lover. Lead pencils--that is another question. Until lead is perfected beyond the breaking point they are unessential, as unessential as reformers with a biological twist.
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