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Julius Caesar gave to the world his version of a calendar; Gregory emended it and attached to it his name; now the United States Congress, not desiring to be outdone, intends also to have a finger in the pie.
Many consider the newly proposed calendar a needlessly confused system. To speak of thirteen months, no one of which has more than twenty-eight days, would seem to be "a most ingenious parodox." Children need no longer waste their idle kindergarten hours learning that "thirty days hath September--" or that leap year comes only once in four. This would mean a simplified education in perfect harmony with the modern tendency among older people to master the French language in a dozen lessons from a correspondence school.
The superstitious, however, would not have a happy lot; they would find little relief from constant anxiety. Imagine the thirteenth day of all thirteen months landing on Friday. Then again, this new calendar may serve as a valuable antidote: if those who now entertain grave apprehensions regarding the number thirteen are still able to enjoy life under the proposed system, the time is at hand when two-dollar bills will no longer be scoffed at, and one match will suffice to light three cigarettes.
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