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The Photos That Captured the 2010s

THE CRIME

"It All Came Out in The Wash"

By C. C. P. and D. R.

Mary and Bridget were scrubbing.

Oh my, how they could scrub!

They were quite true to their dusting,

While the foreman watched 'em rub.

They were our pals

But we done 'em wrong.

Mary went down to the corner,

Just for a bucket of rye.

Many came back to her scrubbing,

And she started in to cry

As she saw the man

Who was doing her wrong.

For there at her bucket was Endy.

He held in his hand a release.

He gave Mary and Bridget their discharge.

For the sake of Harvard's Peace

He should have watched his step

And not done 'em wrong.

"I don't want to tell you no stories,

I don't want to tell you no lies,

But I gave your job half an hour ago

To some harder-working guy.

He is our man.

We ain't doin' you wrong."

Mary and Bridget went homewards.

What were they goin' to do now?

Another guy was scrubbing.

They were out of luck, and how!

Come shed your tears.

We have done 'em wrong.

Then the Commission of Wages

Came to the rescue with bells.

They told of Harvard's treatment.

There wasn't much they didn't tell

To the public press,

How we done 'em wrong.

Bring on your publicity bureaus,

Shattuck and Lamb and their horde.

Harvard is taking a riding,

That Harvard can't well afford.

For not paying these pals

That they did so wrong.

Endicott stepped to his office,

Pulled out some white-washing scrolls,

Pointed 'em out to the papers.

"Note that by these here payrolls

We paid 'em well.

We ain't done 'em wrong.

"I don't want to tell you no stories,

I don't want to tell you no tale,

I've been hiding the good that's in me

Behind Harvard's blushing veil.

We done 'em right,

And you done us wrong."

Shattuck came round in the morning,

Said it was all for the best,

That the women were paid by the hour,

But they had ten minutes rest

From their morning's work.

We ain't done 'em wrong.

Gardner Jackson denied this.

President Lowell did too,

For he said that our pals were fired

To save a cent or two.

Them working girls,

How we done 'em wrong!

Our hero came next in the offing.

Harvard Alumnus was he.

Corliss Lamont was his monicker.

And he got a queer idee

That we were their pals.

But we done 'em wrong.

Our hero was not to be slighted.

He called out the press to his aid.

He told 'em all about it,

How our pals were underpaid,

That they were our pals.

And we done, 'em wrong.

Mary and Bridget are weeping.

In spite of all ballyhoo

They are out of a job and wishing

That they had a cent or two

Out of all this fuss.

Have we done 'em wrong?

This story has no moral.

This story has no plot.

This story only goes to show

That Harvard's got a blot

That she won't wipe out,

For there's something wrong.

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