The issue is clear cut. To cleave to hallowed precedent or to suffer Harvard tradition to fall deplorably and dishonorably in the dust. With what nick-name, term, or epithet shall we refer to the cheerful Amazons who sweep our floors and make our beds? Shall we say "goody" or "biddy?"
For there are rumors of a grim resurgence among the ranks of House and Dormitory domestics. No longer will they tolerate the opprobrious name which swept into acceptance at Harvard in the slackening of standards of the Post War period. They demand their ancient and honorable title of "goody." As spokesman for their cause a goody of Kirkland House has come forward, deposed, and stated it as her irrevocable opinion that "biddy" is not a maidservant, but a fowl. "We might have been chickens once," she said, "but we want to be called "goodies" now.
A champion of their cause is Charles Townsend Copeland, Boylston Professor of Rhetoric and Oratory, Emeritus. "Goody," he states, "is the authentic Harvard epithet, used to describe those who tidy Harvard studies from the time of the founding of the College. Its origin is in the English appellation, 'Good-wife,' and as applied to female domestics it is peculiar to Harvard among universities in this land."
Will the men of Harvard be blind to the logic of Professor Copeland and the embattled goodies? Let them arise in their strength and smite the new-fangled and the plebeian. Let the Kirkland House matron query in a still, small voice. "What, O Harvard, is my rightful name?" And let a chorus of ten thousand throats cry: "GOODY!"