The New Gen Ed Lottery System, Explained


Armed Individuals Sighted in Harvard Square Arraigned


Harvard Students Form Coalition Supporting Slave Photo Lawsuit's Demands


Police Apprehend Armed Man and Woman in Central Square


107 Faculty Called for Review of Tenure Procedures in Letter to Dean Gay



While few students would consider Dr. Means or Dr. Hathaway as star sprinters for the track team, they are breaking records every morning in the German Measles ward at Stillman. The cause for the daily workouts of these medical athletes is not quite clear, but the rules are rigid.

Each contestant must seize his charts from the ward supervisor. Then he is required to make a complete circuit of the room, only breaking his stride to smile an inclusive grin at the ceiling. No answers are required to any stupid questions and most of them fall in this category. A good man can make it in seven seconds.

Unfortunately, Dr. Means gives rotten performances. If any of his patients feel ill, he stops to make a personal examination and even prescribes a remedy. Thus he inevitably loses to Dr. Hathaway, who can interpret symptoms by intuition as his legs strain for the tape. The latter also knows that the best way to answer difficult questions is to disappear immediately into the main building where he can have his rubdown, free from inquisitive measle victims. It really is a tragedy that he is ineligible for Eddie Farrell's team.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.