The Cambridge Police are on the job. They are stoutly determined that the evil element, so densely concentrated in Harvard, will not be allowed to enfold within its lecherous toils the virtuous maidens of Cambridge. Harvard men are not to be trusted one inch and the slightest suspicion is to be acted upon with vigour. Recently they showed not only the ability, but the inclination to practice their prerogatives in curbing the vice that is flourishing.
It all began with a telephone call. A simple, innocent, unsuspecting Adams House Sophomore was informed in no uncortain terms that he was to report at Cambridge Police Station Number Two to answer very serious charges. Needless to say, our frightened young man was on hand. Visions of prison walls, deportation, even the chair passed in rapid succession before his eyes as he waited. Now that he thought of it, he had made some pretty serious criticism of the N.R.A. at dinner last week. In a moment a gruff voice demanded him to plead guilty or not guilty to charges of running a "Date Bureau" supposedly for the arrangement of rendezvous between Harvard students, in fact, males in general and certain Cambridge lassies. Of course our here indignantly pleaded "Not Guilty." The authorities didn't believe him, they said and let him go with the ominous warning that his case would be reported to the Dean immediately. He hasn't heard anything else about if, but if you over speak at the indifference of the Cambridge Police force in his presence you lay yourself open to a withering look.
For exactly one hundred and twenty years students, faculty members, and visitors of Harvard College have stumbled over the surprise stop at the basement entrances to University Hall. Miss Piacope, the charming information Secretary, has amassed a respectable vocabulary of the less polite and more emphatic expressions in our language from the muttered exclamations of persons who sprawled undignifiedly in front of her window as a result of the step.
Last Saturday Mr. Aldrich Durant, the University Business Manager, fell victim to the faulty architecture. What Mr. Durant exclaimed as he lost his balance remains a mystery. Eye witnesses refuse to divulge any account of his remarks. Evidently the-occurrences must have made a profound impression, however. Yesterday morning in places of the old sudden drop just within the doorway, a shiny new platform sloping gently to the floor greeted the entrants. Thus the old landmarks pass. Thus the power of important men is utilized to rectify the faults in our slowly advancing civilization.