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Kelley Continues Modestly As Ever In Second Episode

Almost Everything Said about Him Is All a Big Lie, He Insists, In (Current) Satevepost

By John J. Reldy jr.

A play in one act and a couple of dozen scenes. Characters: Lawrence Kelley, the interviewer, and Reidy, the stage manager and off stage noises. Quotes ("up to 300 words") from the Saturday Evening Post.

Int.--What is the best thing for an athlete to have?

K--"Relaxation is perhaps the biggest asset a competitive athlete can have--"

Int.--Did you have it?

K--I was just going to say "and I had it."

Int.--Tell us about the play in the Navy game last year in which you kicked the ball and some one said it was done on purpose.

K.--"The bouncing ball just happened to strike square on the toe of my shoe in stride."

Int.--Are you sure?

K.--"It looks like a deliberate dribble in the picture, but it didn't look that way on the field. . . . I hate to spoil a good story, but they were wrong. I'm not that smart."

Reidy--Simper a little when you say that crack, L. K.

Int.--It all looks pretty doubtful.

K.--" . . . but you have an Irishman's word for it that if they had X-rayed my brain when my foot struck the ball, they would have found no deliberate intent."

Reidy--Give 'em both barrels on this next statement, Larry. Chin up, chest out, eyes flashing righteous fire.

K.--"That's my story and I'll stick to it, even though you probably don't believe me even now!"

Reidy--Why Larry, we all believe every single word you say.

Int.--Amen to that. Now about the Harvard game in 1935, give us a little inside dope on that. Was that pass hard to catch?

K--"All I had to do was hold out my arms, cradle the ball, turn around, and run for the naked goal line."

Reidy--Make it "unclothed" goal line. This is no cheap burlesque.

K--As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. "Coach Harlow, of Harvard, was kind enough to say that this touchdown run shouldn't be called dumb luck. He said I had the presence of mind to cash in on the break. Thanks Dick, but how could I miss it?"

Int.--I dunno. But tell us what was the proudest moment in your life.

K.--"The proudest moment of my life came soon afterward, on the evening when I heard I had been elected captain of the Yale team. It made me feel that . . . I was now accepted by my teammates as a regular guy. . . . At Yale it carries a responsibility . . . At Yale the game still belongs to the players."

Reidy--Loud trumpets, cymbals, and wind instruments at this point.

Int.--Did you ever get any fan mail?

K--"These letters were rather distracting. My favorite correspondent was an anonymous young lady who saluted me as 'Dear Nitwit' and closed by saying 'So long, picklepuss, shed a tear for me as I re-enter these virginal walls.'"

Reidy--Give me a pen and paper somebody, quick. I want to write a letter.

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