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The History of Harvard's Commencement, Explained

GOAL POST SURGE

NO WRITER ATTRIBUTED

Now that the Narragansett race track has been closed, and the Boston discount office that offered credulous customers some $500 for about five invested has been sealed by the police, students and others are perhaps wondering how best to lose their money.

The experience of a Freshman student in the goal post melee that followed the Dartmouth game provides a ready answer to those who have not yet thought of something that will relieve them of their capital as quickly as Mr. Ponzi's schemes of a decade or so ago. The Yardling, more fortunate than many others, managed to obtain the arrest of a well known professional pickpocket, who was making the most of the opportunity afforded by the crush around the goals to lighten the load in students' pockets.

This is by no means the first case on record on such petty larcency. Indeed, the group of policemen that appear as if by magic following the final whistle of the game, is much more interested in spotting gentlemen they have seen the week before either in the police line-up or in various questionable albums. The conditions that prevail in the mob that surges around the goal posts are practically ideal for accustomed law-breakers: a great mass of people crashing against each other all intent upon some noble objective and unmindful of skillful snatch artists examining the contents of their pockets.

Of course the apparently minor matter of how sensible it is for a mass of grown and theoretically intelligent inhabitants to mill around a pair of white sticks, no longer seems to be one of importance. It is well known that Harvard students constitute a distinct minority in the weekly storming of the Bastille, but the fact that any are there at all would seem to indicate that some modification of the admission rules might be desirable.

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