"Oh My, It's Turpentine" Sing 3 Destitute Brewers

Wigglesworth Hall wiggled from end to end to Wednesday afternoon when a private still, operated in one of the rooms by a group of Freshmen who for expedient and family reasons wish then names to be withheld, exploded.

No one happened to be in at the time, but the explosion caused most consternation is the adjoining suite, for an odd smelling liquid began to surge through the cracks of the fire door strongly resembling the tide at the Bay of Fundy. Succor was soon summoned as were the occupants of the room, the spokesman of whom explained that a bottle of turpentine had been poured in by mistake previously, being mistaken for water. "So it wouldn't have been much good anyway," he said, as he licked of the cover of an Economics textbook and then set a match to the book.