WINKERS TWIDDLE OUT

Tiddledy-winkers went down to inglorious defeat before the Hoyden College girls, who winked their way to victory in one of the most bitterly contested tipples of the century. Crimson tiddlers were badly handicapped with the loss of Tid Fingers who recently blistered and cramped his pitching thumb from turning pages, while studying for his hour exams.

However, Harvard's wonder, the armless Joe Sockit, demonstrated the remarkable feat of running up a championship record with his toes. It was reported that Hoyden's marvel, Purple O'Malley, was a ringer, and that she arrived for the Harvard game after playing in a professional contest.