RAISE THE BATON AVERAGE

"My God," said an anonymous gentleman of the press as he watched the Harvard band last Saturday, "what they need out there is a woman." The Crimson agrees. The music was fine, but still the between-the-halves exhibition sagged in the wrong spots. The band acted like a Paris mob storming the Bastille, while the cheer-leaders gave a fair imitation of the English cabinet advocating action:

There is one red-hot poker which can put some real fire and spirit into the whole business. This is the selection of a high-stepping, tastefully exposed drum majorette to head up the Harvard marchers. "I reckon it's mighty strange how a pretty leg can kick you between the eyes," a high political official from Louisiana once remarked.

Recently, the Oregon Emerald announced in 72 point streamer headlines: "OU GETS DRUM MAJORESS." The action came as a result of a bitter controversy which had rocked the student body, faculty, and administration for months on end. There was plenty of reason for the Emerald to sensationalize the outcome, because it meant that Oregon had finally allowed the Pacific Coast Conference to go one hundred per cent for drum majorettes.

Contrast this situation with the one hundred per cent dearth in the East. New England college students never get any closer to drum majorettes than leering at their pictures in "Click." Here is a chance once and for all for Harvard to establish her intellectual supremacy. She can start a movement among the Ivy Colleges which will burn up the league. It might be objected that all-male educational institutions are in a slightly different position from the coed plants of the West, but what about the American Legion?

After all, this would only mean submission to a nation-wide trend. Sociologists and psychologists everywhere agree that sex is here to stay. Since such a step would be of majorette significance in Harvard history, it would be necessary to conduct a coast-to-coast beauty survey. But once we had her, no more chilly afternoons in Soldiers Field. OU kid.