CRIMSON TOUCHBALLERS TRIM FEEBLE YALE BLUE-BELLIES

Playing in a steady deluge on a brilliantly lighted diamond, the Harvard CRIMSON's powerful touch football squad led by Pete "Pass me another Daiquirl" Dammann sloshed to victory 23 to 2 last night completely outclassing a completely outclassed Yale Daily News (rhymes with booze) eleven.

Fresh from its recent defeat by the Vassar Miscellany News in which all the passes made by Dick "J. Press" Tweedy were batted down by the alert female secondary, the Eli inkslingers could offer little resistance to the CRIMSON outfit which boasts a season record of 23 wins and only two defeats.

"I refuse to concede the last touchdown to the Cambridge eleven until I see the full-length, four-bell, three-dimensional, technicolor movies of the game," was the terse post-game comment of high-flying King Brewster, captain of the Eli periodical outfit.