EXCELSIOR!

The survey of records of the past twenty years which was included in Dean Hanford's report on the state of the College has tremendous significance for the future of the University.

Between 1920 and 1940, the number of connections severed by the University steadily decreased from 7.4 to 4.4 per cent, a drop of 3 per cent in the twenty years. A few simple mathematical computations prove that after exactly 29.3 more years, in April of 1970, no more connections will be severed at all. It will take a genius to flunk out.

A more revolutionary finding is that the number of men on the Dean's List has leaped from 20 per cent in 1920 to a new high of 30 per cent in 1940. If this intellectual acceleration is maintained for 140 years, by 2080 A.D., obviously, everybody in Harvard College will be on the Dean's List.

Let Cambridge beware and prepare for lean days to come! The serious attitude being adopted toward work, already noted in the Dean's report, will by that time have made Widener the favorite undergraduate nightspot, and the Reading Room will continually be as well populated as it is now before exams. The U.T., McBride's and Dirty Mary's will be things of the past, and the Stag Club will replace its bottles with books. And when the conversation at Mike's Club sounds like a seminar in Paleontology, when Phi Beta Kappa keys are as common as Coop cards, then the latent optimism in Dean Hanford's report will stand justified in the eyes of posterity.