"In Times Like These"

In times like these, one is forced to ask one's self: "What is patriotism?" Some, like the editors of PM, know without asking themselves, but most ordinary citizens are dependent on the definitions of Noah Webster. Yet Noah is so unbelievably inadequate. "Devotion to welfare of one's country," he replies, with an off-hand glibness. Didn't he have room to go into the matter more thoroughly, or was he just plain naive?

For instance, he said absolutely nothing to imply that "Accurate vision without eyestrain is of front-line importance," or even that "best performance comes from Shuron Shurset Full-Vue glasses of Quality Beyond Question." And he left it for some enlightened advertising manager to warn: "Don't be a Public Enemy. Be patriotic and smother sneezes with Kleenex."

Webster omitted so many important bits of information that one begins to wonder about his personal loyalty. He might have stated (in the words of Dr. West, the Miracle-Tuft tooth brush man): "Take good care of yourself. . . . You belong to the U. S. A."; or at least hinted that Sealed Power Piston Rings help you "Save gas. Save oil! Save engine wear!"

It is a sad situation when Shuron Shurset, Kleenex, Dr. West, and other who are equally busy in these troubled times, must make patriotism real and functional. It isn't until one uses deodorants "under arms for a nation under arms" that the term so flatly defined by Mr. Webster takes on true meaning. It is only when the Mum Company asks: "Are you your own fifth columnist? Do you sabotage your personal attractiveness with underarm perspiration on short wave broadcasts?" that the word becomes utterly challenging.