Gimme That Bottle Mother We Fight The 'Poon Today

They say you should love thy neighbor but those nasty Bow Street Boys, Mother Advocate and Junior 'Poon, have been feudin' again. It is quite a surprise, relationships on that boundary are generally as amicable as the U. S. Canada line.

There is very little news from the front due to a web of official secrecy which now enshrouds the battle area. Vague rumors have reached this neutral ground about a new instrument of war, known as the "one-armed bandit" which has a deadly effect, especially in knocking off Indians' heads.

A new extra large type of helmet has also been developed by the Advocate high command. This invention was reported to have been stolen by the 'Poon forces in a desperate counter-attack. The Literary brigade, the Advocate army's elite guard, may attack at any moment with a new and super-deadly poison sprayed at the enemy in an alcoholic medium. See your local liquor store for further details.