Lampy's Sick, Dying too; Crime Wins Ball Game, 23-2

A hectic ninth frame which saw Armband Squibb score 12 runs was quite unnecessary as the CRIMSON squeiched the Lampoon 23 to 2 Saturday afternoon on Soldiers Field. The game was noteworthy for poor fielding, worse hitting, and umpire baiting.

M. Mikado Osborne, the 'Poon's batting here of the day, slammed out six triples, but died on third each time. His corpse may still be found lying around the field, surrounded by scores of vultures (Network men, no doubt).

Lampy's two runs followed an unfortunate train of events in which one of last year's lively balls was substituted for the traditional grapefruit. Major league talent scouts, on the prowl for likely looking 4Fs, girded their loins and scrammed after three innings. They missed the mighty rally.