Speaking for the entire Junior Officers Class, we wish to extend a sincere welcome to the newly entered Midshipman class. We all know and appreciate the feelings which must be running through your confused and befuddled minds. We were in your boots once--we know your worries.
You'll worry like hell when you get back these first Report marks. But don't crease your manly brows, we both got "Unsat's" in our first report. That frightened the life out of us. So we went to work, as Gil Cross puts it, "to got this Harvard system down cold." By dint of hard work, clean living, and being nice to the markers, we can now boast that we have lifted our marks up to a high Low Pass. You, too, can do it.
Then, you'll meet a fine group of professors. But we'll put you wise to them You'll meet Merriam in Fuel and Management. His bark is worse than his bite. As long as your old man uses Standard Oil, you're in. Then there is Arthur Hanson. He'll yell and yell and yell, and he'll tell you a tall one about a Peanut Wagon. Well, listen to him, because you'll soon find that you really are learning a lot of accounting. All you have to do is to get a Dist. in his course is use "plain common sense." Then there will be Mr. Bliss and his slide ruling partners, McNeil and Bingham. Statistics will amaze you. It amazed us. Just remember to question the standard and talk about Miss Filipetti's habits, and class work will be a cinch. If you are bent on attaining the first quartile, well, just back away from every problem and get the overall picture. Just back away over to the Students' Club and get a beer.
We don't know who is teaching Management. Whoever it is, just take this tip. In any problem the only solution is: double the output, buy the machine, raise the selling price, cut wages and consider coolie labor. With that formula you can't go wrong. What's wrong with Sampson?
The last brotherly tip we will give you has to do with Sources of Supply. Discuss the market, Mac, the product and the future of grade labeling, and the world is yours.
As an afterthought we have decided to let our generosity overflow to the extent of making your career here absolutely a snap. In Foreign Resources, there are two cardinal rules to success:
1. Spain is a mountainous country.
2. The Dutch way is the only way.
With that we wind up this part of the Lucky Bag. In all seriousness, we do welcome you as you begin your cruise here aboard the Harvard. If, in any way, we can give you advice or help you with your work, or even take your girl out when you are restricted for failing to bow every time you meet a Junior Officer, please feel free to supplicate our succor.
To the Juniors: Look at this column on Friday for complete details on the past Leave. Between trips to Canada, marriages, home-comings and the coming election there will be a lot of news to be spilled. So hang on, Mates, and don't let that bar weigh you down.
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